Scars

Propinquity

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Be warned that this chapter contains mature themes.
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The man lunges straight at me at me with a knife. I swerve before he makes contact, grabbing his wrist in the process and I thrust my elbow in his throat. I twist his arm holding the knife and plunge it deep into his stomach, then force it upwards. I let him fall to the floor as another attacker comes at me from behind. He wraps his arm around my neck in a choke-hold. I grab his arm with both of my hands and forcefully kick his shin with my leg, weakening his hold on me. I pull down hard on his arm and elbow him in the stomach in the process. I swiftly move behind him as I see someone else enter the room and grab his neck, twisting it quickly. His body falls limp on the ground, next to the other man who seems to have now bled out.

I look up from the bodies of two KAIROS members and look straight at Seven, her terror-stricken eyes staring at me, tears falling freely from her eyes.

'Your orders are clear operative Four, leave no survivor'

I hate the voice that just came up through the comms, but orders are orders. My brain is screaming at me to stop, but my body moves on its own. I move swiftly to her and pin her on the wall.

'Fo....ur..'

My right hand wraps around on her throat, slowly squeezing the life out of her.  She offers very little resistance as her body starts becoming limp. 

'En... zo...'

I suddenly feel a hand on my arm which triggers my augs and every sense in my body, screaming all at once. I feel my brain pounding, my heart racing, I am covered in sweat and shivering all over. I can feel every single individual in the nearby facility, coming at me, haunting me. I squeeze my eyes tight in an attempt to shut it all.

'Enzo!'

Seven's panicked voice forces me to open my eyes again. While I cannot see her with my augs on, I notice that she is sitting right next to me, and that my hand is digging into her shoulder. Her heart rate is fast and I can sense that she is panicked.

(Make it stop... please...)

As if hearing my internal plea, she grabs my face with her hands and pulls me into a kiss. I close my eyes again, trying to shut out everything but her. She gives me light kisses and takes time to wipe away tears that I now realize I had been shedding. I relax my grip on her shoulder as I finally start getting my bearings again.

(I am in my room... sitting up in my bed.. Evren is with me.. I had a nightmare..)

After a few minutes of this, she pulls my head against her chest and hugs me tight.

'Its ok... it's ok..' she whispers quietly, slightly rocking me back and forth, kissing the top of my head in the process.

I keep on focusing on her, on her heartbeat, on her breathing, and her voice. After what seems like forever, I finally manage to turn off the augs. I let myself whimper softly, my arms finally wrapping up behind her back, craving her embrace more than ever before. She keeps on cradling me, humming ever so softly.

(This nightmare... )

I can't even finish my own train of thoughts nor do I want to. The very thought that I could hurt her, even in a dream, is too much for me to bear. The thought that I could potentially lose control over myself, that I could be pitted against her and that I would follow through on orders that I think are wrong is turning my stomach upside down.

(Is this life's way of telling me I don't deserve her? I don't deserve this little bit of happiness?)

I try and muster up everything I have to stop myself from being a complete wreck at this point. Despite the frequent nightmares I have, none of them have ever affected me as much as this one. None of them have ever scared me like this one. I take deep breaths and try and let myself relax in her embrace.