It's not an S // Superman

Chapter 28

In the days following the attack on the city, Clark was pretty much silent, unmoving, unemotional. To someone that didn't know him, they'd say he was in shock from the events. I however, sensed something entirely different. His eyes, open and staring straight ahead were those of a storm. Pain, sadness and grief engulfing them.

The only time his inner feelings showed was at night. He couldn't rest, couldn't sleep. When he did finally settle he'd suddenly jump up again, nightmares and images of what he'd seen burnt in his mind.

I loved him more than anything and I'd never felt so useless, so without purpose. This man had saved so many, hell he'd saved the entire world. Yet here I was, not knowing what to say to him, what to do. How could I make this better?

On one particularly bad night Clark awoke screaming, his whole body sweating and his eyes frantic. The terror on his face as he searched for me in the dark sent shivers down me. He was manic, desperate, beside himself.

"Lauren.....," he choked my name over and over as I stumbled out of the bed to switch the light on.

"Clark? Baby? What's wrong?"

Getting back on the bed I placed myself on his lap, my legs wrapped around his waist and my palms on his cheeks. I wanted to wrap him up, I wanted to protect him from what terrorised him so much. I just needed to know what it is.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I can't. I can't talk about it," he shivered, calming down immensely once we were secure in each other's arms.

"You need to Clark. You can't keep it all bottled up inside. I know Zod dying affected you. You shouldn't be ashamed to admit that."

"I'm not like this because of Zod. I'm like this because...because...."

"Because what?" I couldn't bare it. Couldn't bare to see him this way. It was like when his Dad died. He was grieving. If it wasn't Zod, then who?

"Lauren, it didn't happen. What I'm seeing didn't happen. Not for anyone but me anyway."

"I don't understand Clark? What do you mean?"

"There was something, something that took place during the attack. I couldn't live with it, I couldn't accept it was a possibility. Something took over me, this power I've never felt before. I turned back time. I changed it so it didn't happen."

Clark was now running his trembling fingers through my hair and along my jaw. It was like he was memorising me, staring right into my soul. What was he getting at? What happened? How the hell did he turn back time?

"How? How did you...."

"I went up into orbit and flew around the Earth so fast, opposite to it's normal rotation, that it started to turn back time."

"And this thing that happened, you can remember it? That's what you're struggling so much with?"

"Lauren, I cant get it out of my head. Every time I close my eyes all I see is...."

"Is what?"

"You."

Through dry sobs Clark went through the events, my demise, my death. That grief he'd been feeling, it was grief for me.