Year 30

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Year 30

I've gained twenty-seven
Okay, thirty-seven pounds
My feet are swollen
I constantly complain of an achy back
I urinate so frequently
That I'm thinking about wearing adult diapers
My mood swings by the millisecond
I order you around
Like a drill sergeant

Why are you still here?
I've asked you that several times
And on each occasion you respond
Because you love me
And there's nowhere else on Earth
You'd rather be

Hmm
I'm pregnant
Which is my excuse for being nuts
What's yours?

I feel fat
My feet are boats
I'm sore
Might start wearing the adult equivalent of Huggies
And let's face it
I've been more bitchy than angelic

And yet Keri loves me
I feel it when she kisses my protruding tummy
And provides me with lengthy massages
I see it whenever she gives me a bizarre concoction to eat
Such as a bowl of Neapolitan with relish and marshmallows
And gazes at me while reminding that it'll all be worth it
When our little one is born
Keri loves me

Damn
How did I get so lucky?

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