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Thirty-eight

23 November 2009

It had been almost two weeks since Victoria had last spoken to Hoseok. She also hadn't seen Taehyung around and Jimin had his nose in the books to prepare for finals. She was lonely, to say the least. It seemed her life had become a cycle of school and sleep. She had nobody to walk with or talk to. Hanyeol still made the effort, but she just wanted her friends back. She wasn't just lonely—she was sad.

After school that day, Victoria ventured into the old part of town for some solace. The sun was beginning to set behind the ocean that spread out far and wide beyond the island. It's last rays cast an orange glow on the streets, buildings, people, and Victoria as she sat at the end of the dock, her feet dangling over the rotting wood. She didn't dare stare at the force that hurt her eyes even as she was staring down at the water below her.

Suddenly, she felt really tired—like the world had drained her of everything she'd had. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep fresh tears from rolling down her cheeks, but they did anyway. Numbly, she wiped them away, attempting to take deep breaths and calm down.

"Noona?"

She turned slightly in alarm to see her cousin standing behind her, his backpack slung over one shoulder. Jimin noticed the redness in her eyes right away and dropped his bag on the dock before sitting next to her. He didn't say anything as he searched her gaze that was now on the water again. It was almost like they spoke telepathically.

Jimin knew why she was upset. He took note of how Hoseok used his skateboard to get around campus instead of walking with her like he usually did. He saw how the two avoided each other—it was painfully obvious since they had previously been so used to being together all the time. If Victoria was in the library and Hoseok needed a book, he would avoid the building altogether, eventually getting in trouble for not acquire whatever novel it was.

"Hoseok-hyung is upset, too," he said quietly, trying to comfort her as he snaked an arm around her shoulders.

Victoria squeezed her eyes shut, pissed that the tears seeped through anyway. "Well—he caused this!" she accused, voice shaking and angry. If she had taken a second to listen to what was really going on inside her head and her heart, she would have discovered that she was mad at herself and not Hoseok. But she was sixteen—and sixteen-year-olds don't want to face themselves.

The boy beside her nodded slowly. He didn't want to side with anyone, but Victoria was the one person in their family who he was close to. They always remained close even when they fought. He pulled her closer, sighing as the last rays of sun disappeared behind the clear horizon. The world was now covered in a shadow that would soon give way to nightfall.

Jimin glanced over his shoulder to scan the boardwalk. Just beyond the Old Town Tunnel was loud music, lights, rides, laughter, and the like. "Let's go to the carnival while it's in town," he suggested quietly. "Come on." He stood quickly and held out his hand for her.

She opened her eyes, an abundance of tears spilling over as she twisted her neck to look at him. She wiped the wetness away before taking his hand and letting him help her up. He smiled and wiped his hand on his jeans—some of her tears had made their way to his palm—before taking hers again, picking up his bag, and leading the way to the carnival.

They walked slowly along the street in silence. Night had completely fallen by the time they arrived, the dark sky being dotted with stars that were barely visible against the neon signs and lights of the carnival. Jimin insisted on paying once they got to the ticket booth. Victoria didn't like it, but she was too tired to protest. He was her cousin and he was younger so she never let him pay for anything until them.

Victoria found herself loosening up a bit as they rode rides and reminisced about her idiot brothers that got along so well with his idiot brother. They were about to go see the freak show when she stopped dead in her tracks. Her entire body tensed and if she wasn't angry before then she definitely was then.

Because there was Hoseok, holding hands with the richest girl in school—Hyun Sooyoung. Victoria had heard a lot of things about her, namely that she was dating her cousin and that her family was inbred in order to keep their bloodline. She didn't necessarily believe it—especially then because she was clearly on a date with Hoseok.

The boy was smiling and swinging their interlocked hands. Jimin stopped when Victoria did. He was about to ask what was wrong, but then he saw it, too. "I think Hoseok is doing just fine," she muttered bitterly. With clenched fists, she began walking briskly toward the exit, grateful that he hadn't seen her—or that he'd pretended not to. "I'm going back to campus."

"Noona!"

Jimin called after her, but she ignored him. She wanted to get away from the carnival— from Jung Hoseok—as quickly as possible. Hot tears stung her eyes and the cold night air whipped at her face, only making everything more painful. There was a weight crushing her heart and her stomach whirled with mixed emotions.

She wanted someone to care about her so badly. She wanted Hoseok to care. She wanted him to love her. She wanted anyone to love her. Of course, she knew that Jimin cared and that he loved her—but she wanted to be loved in a different way. She wanted to be touched and kissed and loved. She looked for it in everyone.

That was her real problem.

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A/N: Sorry its so short but tHANK YOU FOR 800+ READS AND SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO @skeletonflowerr and @that-girl-alone  love you guys :')