Tomtord Oneshots (Completed)

Hips Go Skrrt

~9,000 words

"Get in the car, losers, we're going shopping." Edd grinned as he swung the car keys around his finger. Tord rolled his eyes, pulling the hood of his red sweatshirt up. Tom glanced up at the three, standing up from his seat at the kitchen counter. Matt tore his glance away from his mirror, his blue eyes hooked onto Edd as a smile tugged at his lips, looking at the leader of their small group.

"Okay!" he chirped with delight.

"Wait— why are we going shopping?" Tom asked, tilting his head gently.

"Bad fanfiction ideas." Tord cleared his voice, finishing his omelette.

Edd lifted an eyebrow, but did not respond to Tord's stupidity and obsession with out of worldly concepts (he was delusional anyway); rather, opted to motion them towards the garage door.

After Tord put his empty dish in the sink, he pulled on the strings of his hoodie, walking out the door as he sighed. "Shopping is so boring, though!" Tord groaned, narrowing his eyes at Edd.

"For once in my life, I agree with the Norski," Tom responded casually, shoving his hands into his pocket.

Matt raised his eyebrow, oblivious as to why the two rivals hated shopping so much. "Why? I get to shop for more mirrors!" He smiled, pulling out a mirror from the pocket of his overcoat.

"Matt's right!" Edd said with shrug. "If you guys would maybe try to have fun with mundane activities, you wouldn't be depressed little shits."

"Oi!" Tord snapped his head in Edd's direction, huffing as he grit his teeth. "Jehovah's the only one here who's a 'depressed little shit'."

Tom rolled his eyes (not that anybody could tell). "I'm pretty sure you cry while jacking off." He didn't even bother to give Tord a glance as he followed Edd toward the door.

"That's not what you think of when I'm fucking yo—" Matt cut Tord off by yelling 'BUTTERFLY!' as one flew across, the Norse huffing as he followed Edd.

"I'm pretty sure that's something you dreamt of. Don't bring your fantasies into reality."

"Oooooh," Edd mumbled under his breath before glancing over to Matt and Tord. "Are you guys coming or not?"

Tord ran up to Tom, flicked the back of the head, then continued to walk in front of him, tailing behind Edd. "How long are we going to be, anyway?"

Tom huffed, rubbing the back of his head.

"Will you two stop fighting for five god damn minutes?" Edd asked, throwing his head back at Tom before opening the car door and climbing inside.

Tord climbed into the back with Tom, knowing if he sat shotgun, Matt would whine at him constantly. Tom huffed indignantly, glancing at Tord. "This is going to be a long ride, isn't it?" He sighed.

"On this dick." Tord closed the door. He smirked at Tom.

Tom sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Just... one normal day. That's all I ask for, Tord. Just one day!"

He could hear Edd giggling from the front seat.

"Pray to Jehovah, not me, kjaere." Tord put his arms behind his head leaning back in his seat as he closed his eyes.

Tom waved his hand dismissively, letting out a soft sigh of disappointment. "Whenever I'm around you, I wish for this world to end." He let his head fall back onto the seat.

"Yeah?" Tord hummed, his grin widening. "Is that so?" He opened one eye, looking at Tom with his russet eyes, his thick eyelashes making him look eased.