The Bucket List (A Niall Horan Fanfic)

Chapter 36: Final Letters, First Kisses, Fresh Decisions

I waited a few minutes before I removed my laptop from my lap and ventured out of my dressing room, making sure that I was far enough behind Liam and Annie that they wouldn't notice me. I watched from a distance as Annie and Liam entered Niall's dressing room and only Liam returned. After waiting a little while longer, I snuck right outside his dressing room. By then I was a professional eavesdropper. "I'm here for a modeling shoot. It's weird. I never thought I would be modeling in Toronto, but the photographers love this city," Annie said as I grunted to myself. I had been around this big country and Toronto is probably the most unappealing landscape in Canada. "So I thought I would stop by." "Well it's good to see you," Niall said in his happy voice. I waited as there was a long pause. I peered into the room to see that Niall had walked away from Annie and was rummaging through his bag. "That's it?" she said, popping her hip, unimpressed. Niall looked up at her, confused. "What about California? Nobody's here. We can finish what we were doing in Ireland when we were so rudely interrupted." "California was just two friends catching up and Annie, we weren't doing anything in Ireland. There hasn't been anything between me and you for a long time and even if there were, if it didn't work the first time, it certainly won't work the second," Niall said, firmly. I watched as Annie's face turned grey and grim, "Hope is a joke. The whole world saw her on the Ellen show. She's going to run off on you, just like she did on the show. She's a coward and doesn't deserve you." I swallowed hard. I couldn't see Niall from where he was standing, but his voice sounded more like pity than anger when he said, "How can you judge her? You haven't got a clue what she's gone through or what she's going through. She's braver than you'll ever be." I let a smile creep on my face. I had never felt brave until that moment. It was as if he was telling it to me, but I knew he really meant it, because he was telling it to someone else. I leaped back a few steps as Annie stormed out of the room. Luckily, she was in such a conniption that she didn't see me. I stood there giggling to myself. I don't even know why. I guess I thought it was funny. But apparently I wasn't actually giggling quiet enough because moments later Niall's head popped out from his dressing room. I stood there staring at him with an embarrassed smirk. I had been caught. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to do that," I said, coming into his dressing room before his strong hands grabbed my waist and planted a kiss on my cheek. "I have something that I've been meaning to give to you, but I forgot," Niall said, suddenly looking like he had just remembered something. He went into his backpack and pulled out a white envelope. "Don't be mad at me, but your uncle gave this to me when we were in Vancouver and I sort of forgot to give it to you." I took the envelope, eyeing it curiously as I said, "Don't worry about it." If I knew what was in the envelope at the time, I would've ripped it open right there and then, but I kept it tight in my hand as I picked out my favorite outfits in Niall's dressing room.

It was about half an hour before the show was going to start and I was in my dressing room, fixing my curly hair when April came marching in. "Hello," I said, looking at her as if she was a smelly piece of cheese... she did kind of smell like cheese. "I need something," she said, with her iPhoneS five cradled in her hand... I will never be able to understand the parents of twelve year olds with iPhone fives. Never. "Yes?" I asked between gritted teeth. "I want to be on stage with the boys," she demanded, placing her hand on her hip as if she owned the world. I looked at her, trying to hide my amused grin, "You've come to the wrong person. I'm at the bottom of the totem pole in this whole operation. I might as well be the janitor." "But Niall isn't and you can get him to do whatever you want... unless you want me to tell your little secret," she said, tilting her head. The little Brat. "Look," I said, seriously as I took a step closer to her, "I can't make Niall do anything I want and I can't get you on stage any more than your uncle can, so go talk to him," I said, shoeing her away. "Fine," she said, blissfully. "Uncle Sam!" she screamed. Moment's later Mr. Adams trudged into the room. "Yes," he said, rolling his eyes when she wasn't looking. "Hope's here as a journalist," she said pointing at me as I stood frozen like a statue. Mr. Adams looked from me to April a few times before he burst into fits of laughter. April and I both flinched at the overly emoted man that was usually so calm... usually. "That's your best one yet," he said calming himself down. "What's going on?" I asked. "Well April just turned thirteen and now that she's a teenager she's doing this thing where she feels the need to play jokes and be sarcastic all the time," Mr. Adams explained. "Oh," I said, trying my best to not laugh, while trying to keep a shocked look on my face, "That would make sense because everything that just happened made me a little confused," I said, sneaking a glance at April who looked furious that her uncle didn't believe her. We both knew that there was nothing else she could do to convince her uncle. It was over and I had won. I tried to hide a smirk as the two family members left in different moods.

I flung my body down on the couch pushed in the corner of my dressing room right after the show as I let out a long breath. My eyes wondered across the room of sparkly clothes and fancy heals until they landed on the plain white envelope sitting on the makeup counter. I heaved my body off the couch and over to the counter to grab the envelope. Sitting back down on the couch, I tore open the white paper. I sat back as I pulled out a lined piece of paper filled with writing. My whole body paused when I saw the calligraphy. I knew that writing. It was my mother's distinct letters, with her curvy Ts and messy S'. I brought the paper close to my face as I let my mouth whisper and my eyes rest on each word. "Dear Summer. I usually write journal entries for myself, but today, it's for you. Today you got into Julliard and I'm so ecstatic for you. I know this has been your dream since you first heard of the school at age four. You've worked so hard for this. You so deserve this more than anyone. Your passion and love for people and music is so evident and contagious. Your father and I were talking about you today and how we both agreed that we could not have raised a better daughter. Your integrity, love and passion is what makes you stand out from anyone else. We are so proud of you. Not because you got into Julliard, but because of how hard you've worked and how humble you are. We would be proud of you even if you were to never go to Julliard. We can't wait to come to your first concert and hear you play all those songs you've been hiding away in your journal. (Yes, we hear you playing all of them, even when the door is shut.) I don't think you realize how much talent you have, I don't think anyone does. Yet. Not everything will be easy. Keep your head up darling, you'll make it through. As a song that you wrote once says, play without ceasing, never stop breathing, love without releasing." I stopped, gazing into space. Instead of tears slipping down my cheeks, it was a little smile that spread across my face. They were proud of me. To know that meant more than I could even tell anyone. I looked up when I heard footsteps coming toward my door and Niall emerging into the room as he gave me a strange look when he saw the goofy smile on my face. It was then that I wasn't scared anymore. For the first time in what felt like ages, I felt absolutely no fear. In that absence, there was some sort of reassurance and safety that rested somewhere in between my mind and chest. I got up from the couch and walked over to Niall. "You're happy," he said, smiling at me. I giggled and nodded as I reached up to feel his soft chin and collide my lips with his. Eyes closed and heart pounding, I felt his hands run along my jaw before they dropped to clasp my own hands as the corners of my lips curved into a smile until I pulled away. "You kissed me," he said in shock, gently smiling down at me. "First and best."

I stared down at the stack of papers placed neatly in my lap in guilt. Freshly printed so that if I ran my fingers over them I would smear the ink. It was every article I had written so far on the tour. I was going to hand them in the next day when I went to the office. I bit my lip as I heard the lock on the door click open and Annabelle swing open the door. When she saw me, her whole face turned bright. I put the papers down and ran over to give her a hug. "I've missed you so much," she said, squeezing me tight. "I forgot how lonely it was without you." I laughed as I walk back over to where I had been sitting in her apartment. "Are those your articles? Mss. Carol has been ranting and raving about how amazing the first few that you've sent are and how excited she is for the rest." "Yea," I say, regretfully as I stared down at the black and white orderly mess of words. "What's wrong?" she asked, leaning over to look me in the eye. "It's just that..." I hesitated, looking up at her, "I don't think I can go through with it." "What are you talking about? We talked about this before. You can't quit now. New York is your last stop. Where are you going to go when the tour is over?" She said, her voice raising louder and louder with every word. "I don't want to write," I said quietly, looking down. "I want to play." "What?" Annabelle spazed. "I'm not going back to Tteens after the tour anyway. I'm going to Julliard and if I don't make it in, then I'm staying with the band," I said firmly, realizing that I had finally made the decision. I looked up at Annabelle's distraught and disappointed glare. I looked down at the papers and shook my head. "I'm not going through with this," I said, getting up and tossing the papers in the trash. "You can't just throw all your work away," Annabelle practically screamed. I clasped my hand on the door handle without turning around and said, "I'd rather throw my work away than throw him away."

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Guys, two more chapters to gooooooo! :)