Poems I write in my notebook. They aren't brilliant but they're not bad either, hope you like them.
Sneak peek:
"Blood dripping from a Rose,
Is like seeing an angel cry,
It's unholy, never to be seen,
It's heart has bled dry."
All original, no copy...
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Hi. Yeah, this isn't a poem. This is just a note. I have two things to explain: 1) the image, and other things. 2) readers.
Let me explain the image. So, that isn't my image. I didn't make it or take it or anything. However, if you are reading this, reader, and are committed to reading the poems I write, you may have noticed that most of my poems lately have took quite a depressing turn.
Let me explain. So, basically, about a year ago I got sick. Really sick. I'd always been a bad sleeper, all my life, but I wouldn't get ANY sleep for days on end. I was puking every night, I had chest pains, my pulse was all over, headaches, stomach aches, I kept fainting and more symptoms that I can't even remember. But me and my parents went to a doctors surgery and they just said I had a virus. I had to take months out of school. (Not gonna reveal how old I am) but it was so serious. I felt like I was dying. I used to look at everything through rose-tinted glasses because at the time I didn't realise what was happening. At some moments, I couldn't breathe. We kept going back to the doctors surgery. They kept sending us away. But one day, on a particularly bad day, when I was getting heart palpitations I was took to the hospital. They did an ECG on me. ( electrocardiogram) it measures the electrical activity of your heart. I didn't feel any pain or anything, they just stick these wires on you and you have to lay down. But halfway through the nurse started looking worried. she did another one and I noticed that the spikes on the reading were going the opposite way they were supposed to. The nurse went out the room for a few minutes and I started panicking. She came back in and told me that I had a heart irregularity. That it may be serious. She said it can be normal for some people but the fact that I've been having symptoms that I was having could mean something more serious. She did my blood sugar (which actually really hurts) and told me that I needed to have another appointment. That I had a heart condition. I was strangely not worried. However, my parents were. Even though they never said it, they thought I was going to die. They were careful with what they said to me and never shouted at me, always wanted to hug me or touch me in any way. My mind, my fragile, deceptive mind, didn't let me feel worry. I sort of felt like I was on drugs and everything was in a gold haze. I was still very sick. I was on a waiting list to be seen by a paediatrician, but it was ages away. My parents decided that they couldn't wait for that long. The NHS had scheduled for me to have a blood test. Yes, it may sound small and that but I'm afraid of needles. When I walked into the room to have my blood test I felt like I couldn't breathe. Halfway through having it done, I passed out. Also, since I'd gotten sick, whenever I stood up, not quickly but just standing up slowly, I felt really dizzy and even passed out then. (I was fine afterwards but it didn't help that I'd passed out when my hamster bit me, when I accidentally cut my finger. Whenever I see blood, or stand up, there's a high chance I pass out.) we went to a private hospital, and saw a very helpful doctor who did another ECG on me and told me and my parents that I have POTS syndrome (Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, is one of a group of disorders that have orthostatic intolerance as their primary symptom. OI describes a condition in which an excessively reduced volume of blood returns to the heart after an individual stands up from a lying down position) and chronic fatigue syndrome (ME) it explained why I felt so tired and couldn't sleep and why I kept passing out. It made my parents feel so much better that I didn't have a really serious heart condition. The nurse got it wrong. Well, sort of. She was right in a way. But chronic fatigue syndrome can cause prolonged depression. Sometimes it makes me feel extremely suicidal and unhappy, but that may be to other events that have happened in the past. So that's why my poems have been a bit depressing lately. Sorry for that long paragraph, I just wanted to explain it heh. So...in that image I just felt like it related to me. I feel invisible a lot of times.
2) if there are any committed readers to reading the poems I write, I'd just like to say a huge thank you! It's probably one or two people (you know who you are strawberry BLON BLON and stiles) but I can't believe this has almost 600 views! It feels great that people can read my poems and hopefully enjoy them. I do really love writing them. :)
