Learning Curves ✔ (bxb)

Chapter 12

Liam^^

Michael's POV

I've been thinking a lot about giving Theo a shot at a relationship. I texted Theo that I wouldn't be coming to the bakery today because I needed to study. It wasn't a lie, but right now I really wanted to think about what I wanted with Theo without him influencing my decision in any way. Rowan's out at the library because he wanted to study, and Joseph's currently out who knows where, so I have the dorm to myself to think.

Well... first off, I do genuinely enjoy being with Theo. He's really sweet, and nice, and polite. Although we aren't entirely close, so I know he's been a little nervous around me.

He's 5 inches shorter than me, which would have pretty much been an ideal height if I was looking for a girl.

I take great joy in seeing him preen under the compliments of his baking. I love seeing his cute little smile, and how adorable it is when he stutters or gets nervous...

What am I saying?

Maybe I am totally heads over heels for a guy I barely know.

I briefly worry about what I would say to my parents about my newfound discovery, but I quickly shove that thought away. This discovery is for me. My parents shouldn't control who I can have romantic relations with. I close my eyes and take a breath. The thought of being with a guy seems so foreign to me. I've never found any other dudes attractive in this way. Why is it only Theo?

This thought process has both answered some questions and made me even more confused.

I let out a frustrated groan/yell as my head falls into my hands. I lean back on my bed and stare at the ceiling. What do I want with Theo? And what is that weird feeling I get when I see Rowan around him?

...

Could it be jealousy?

Hahaha, funny. That would mean I have some sort of attachment to him.

Maybe I do. You can get jealous of friends after all. Like when you get jealous that a friend of yours is having more fun with another person, but they're your friend. Not in a creepy way, but you get what I mean, right?

I shake my head to clear my thoughts before tiredly deciding I'd just leave it and maybe talk to Rowan about some questions. I decide to open my laptop and start reviewing my notes for my classes. Medical school... fun.

-

Glancing at the clock, I realize it's been 3 hours since I've started studying. Rowan just got back and I wanted to ask him about some of my discoveries, but I should give him time to relax and breathe. He just got back from studying after all.

"Hey." I greet when he stands at the entrance to my room.

"How's... studying going?" He asks.

"Good... Are you busy right now?" I reply.

"I just got back, so no. What's up?" Rowan walks over and sits on the edge of my bed. I turn my chair to face him.

"I've been doing some thinking about Theo... and I'm still confused." I admit.

"Well... Tell me what you've discovered." Rowan sighs, smiling at me weakly.

"I think... I might like Theo more than a friend. I wouldn't mind... er... being romantic with him. I guess." I avert my gaze, embarrassed.

"But... what's wrong then?"

"I'm not attracted to men."

"Oh come on. So you're just in denial then." Rowan sighs.

"No! You don't get it. I don't want to be romantic with other guys... It's only Theo. I still like girls."

"Well, do you find any man other than Theo attractive?"

"Uh... "

"If another boy like Theo's body type came along. You know, short, cute, brown hair, green eyes. Would you want to get with him?"

"... Maybe? I don't know. I guess so."

"So it's not just Theo. You just have a very specific type." Rowan reasons. I rub my face with my hands. So I'm attracted to certain types of guys?

"What would that make me then?"

"Bisexual probably."

"But I don't like guys-"

"Sexuality isn't the same for everyone, you need to remember this. It's like, being attracted to certain types of girls. If you prefer brunettes over blondes or whatever."

"... I guess I'm bi then." I whisper softly, and it feels good to be able to come to an answer to all this confusion.

"Guess you are." Rowan smiles at me, "I'm glad you finally figured it out."

"Thanks... but what do I do now?" I ask anxiously. My parents are still on my mind.

"Give him a shot. If it doesn't work out, then fine. Continue on your life. If it does, you're going to have to tell your family eventually." Rowan says quietly. He knows I'm terrified to tell my parents I'm anything other than straight. I've always been conditioned to be the perfect son.

"Okay. Thanks Rowan." I try to smile, but it comes out more like a grimace. At least I know my feelings for Theo... or maybe it's not feelings yet. Just an attraction.

It was only 4:30, so I got dressed and ready to head out. I decided I could surprise Theo at the cafe today. I told him I wasn't coming since I didn't think I would figure out my feelings so fast.

When 5 o'clock rolls around, I enter the cafe. I see Theo's startled expression when I walk through the doors, and I send him a smile.

"Hey, I know I said I wasn't coming but it turns out my studying went better than expected." I say. He smiles back.

"Oh, that's great! Okay, what would you like today." He seems happy to see me, that's good.

"Hmmm, just give me whatever you baked. I'll eat it, and a ham and cheese sandwich with a caramel macchiato."

"Okay. Coming up. I'm glad you came. Honestly, I thought you may have not come because of dinner." Theo admits, averting his gaze.

"What? Why would I not come because of dinner?" I frown.

"Well.... I'm not sure. You just didn't seem as happy when we met up with Rowan, and I thought it could have been my fault." Theo almost mumbles.

"Hey, no. That's not the reason. I was just dealing with a new discovery that I wasn't sure about." I tell the truth... just not in detail

"Oh. Is your discovery... okay now?" Theo asks hesitantly, concern showing on his face.

"Yeah, I figured it out now. Thanks." I smile fondly at him. He brightens up, smiling back.

We chat for a while, and he hands me my food so I go to one of the tables and start eating. While eating, I think of ways I could ask him out... on a date. I think Rowan's right, and I need to give Theo a chance, even if I'm not 100% sure about it.

After a while, I figure out a nice date plan. I clean up my plates and garbage, sending Theo a small goodbye before leaving the cafe.