Learning Curves ✔ (bxb)

Chapter 11

Ethan^^

Michael's POV!

After I dropped off Theo, I found myself reflecting on dinner. It seemed interesting. There was something about Theo that just intrigued me greatly, ever since I first saw him at the cafe. When I mentioned this to Rowan, he insisted I must have a crush on the guy. Ha, funny. A crush... on a guy.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not homophobic or anything. It's 2018! But I'm straight. I've dated several girls in the past. They were all nice girls, and I genuinely enjoyed my time with them. I guess none of them were the right one.

Yeah, I know that one time I may have slipped into conversation that I could have been interested in Theo, but I was just testing the waters, really.

I just can't like men! My mother and father would never allow it. They're all the approval I need, anyway. They've always taught me to greatly respect your parents, and I've lived by that rule my whole life. Get good grades, be a good student, get married, have kids. I can't do that if I like guys!

And yeah, I could adopt, but I know they want biological grandchildren. Ones that are part their own flesh and blood. 

I told myself I'd focus on my studies anyway. After getting a job, I could find a nice girl, settle down, start a family. That would make my parents proud.

"I'm pretty sure you like him." Rowan comments, breaking the silence. I glance at him briefly while driving.

"I don't. I'm not into guys." I say calmly.

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?" Rowan asks skeptically. I grit my teeth. I am convincing him. I don't like men.

-

We get to the dorm pretty quickly. We apparently don't live very far from Theo. Entering the dorm, both of us say a quick greeting to Joseph, our other dorm-mate. We don't know much about him, but he seems nice enough. We don't bug him and stay civil, and he does the same for us.

"Well, if you're 100% sure you're not into him, maybe I could give Theo a try." Rowan suggests, sitting on my bed, glancing at me. A wave of irritation comes over me.

"Whatever." I scowl. 

"Oh? You seem reluctant on that idea. Why so?" Rowan smirks at me. 

"Maybe because you won't stop fucking every dude you come across." I snarl, taken back at my frustration. Truthfully, Rowan doesn't really do that. The occasional one night stand here and there. It's a mix of boys and girls. Recently that hasn't been happening though, because he wants to focus on his studies.

"I... Sorry." I sigh. Rowan frowns at me.

"That was uncalled for. I don't even do that." He snaps. I wince at his agitated tone.

"I know. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." I apologize. Rowan narrows his eyes at me and I wait nervously.

"Fine. Accepted." He mutters, getting up and exiting my room promptly. I let out a frustrated sigh and flop onto my bed.

Theo confuses me. Well, not what he does, but the feelings he stirs up in me. I thought introducing Rowan to him would have been a good idea, allow him to join the friend group, because I genuinely enjoyed his company. Clearly I was wrong. For some reason I was so much more on edge with Rowan around, and it's like their happiness made me irritated. 

Distressed, I just decide to sleep on it. Literally. I'm going to bed early because this issue is messing with my brain. I can't find any answers to my feelings.

-

-

I wake up and get ready, washing my face and brushing my teeth before going down to get breakfast. I find Rowan downstairs eating some waffles.

"You missed our run." He comments. He seems disappointed, but understanding. 

"Sorry. Couldn't sleep well last night." I mumble tiredly.

"That's okay. Hey, going to be honest here, I was never actually going to go after Theo." Rowan admits.

"What? Then why'd you say it?" I frown, making some cereal and sitting across from Rowan, eating.

"I wanted to test you. I really had a feeling you might like him more than friends," He explains, "you seemed to enthusiastic about talking about him to me before I met him, and it really only helped my theory when you got all tense during that dinner. Don't think I didn't notice." He says when I open my mouth to protest. I close it again.

"Okay, yeah. I was tense. Sorry. I really don't know why." I stare shamefully into my cereal.

"It's alright Michael. I really think you should give this boy a chance. He's nice, a good person. Plus, he could be into you too. We already know he likes guys, whether he's gay or bi we don't know though." Rowan replies, leaning back in his chair once he finished eating his waffles.

"But... I'm-" I protest.

"Yes, I know I know. You're a heterosexual." Rowan rolls his eyes. "Everyone's a supposed heterosexual until they try things. Give him a shot, and just don't give a fuck about your parents for once. Be yourself." 

"I..." I really have no words. Rowan is an amazing friend, my best friend. I know he'd only have my best interests in mind, but wouldn't my parents also do that?

"How can I just discard my parents' wishes?" I murmur softly, almost to myself. It upsets me that the thought of being with Theo, holding him and kissing him and being romantic doesn't sound disgusting. I'm ruining my parents' perfect image of me!

"You don't have to. You can grow up, find a good job, settle down, and have kids while being with a guy. I'm asking you to allow yourself the choice. If it really doesn't work out, then okay. At least you tried, but denying yourself the opportunity of leading a happy life just because you're scared of your parents isn't worth it." Rowan reasons. He's really making a lot of sense, and it scares me.

"When did you become so wise?" I grumble into my hands.

"When I came out. I feel a lot less stress now that I'm more certain of who I am, and I'm not hiding things."

"But... I know what happened when you came out. You had mental breakdowns! Knowing that, wouldn't it be safer for me to just.... not?"

"Maybe it will be safer, but you'd probably end up more miserable. Theo's a really nice guy. Real husband material." Rowan winks at me. I let out a chuckle.

"He'd make a perfect wife. Empathetic, knows how to cook and bake, nice..." Rowan comments, smirking at me. I know he's just joking, he's not trying to demean Theo in anyway. 

"Shut up." I let out a small laugh, causing Rowan to smile.

"Glad you're not all depressed anymore. Anyway, I won't bug you too much about it, because from personal experience, I know this is often an independent road you need to figure out yourself... But please give it some thought." Rowan stands up, taking his plate. He pats me on the back reassuringly before going to the sink and washing his dishes before leaving.

"Give it some thought..." I mumble to myself, munching on my cereal.