Learning Curves ✔ (bxb)

Chapter 23

Theo's POV

Michael and I continue to cuddle on the bed, not really realizing what we're doing. He's so willing to do things to make me feel better, it kind of makes me feel like I haven't been playing my part in this relationship.

"Boys? I was just wondering what you'd like to have for lunch-" Aunt Alice comes in, pausing at the sight of me leaning against my boyfriend's chest.

"Aw, how cute are you two?" She chuckles. I can feel my cheeks heat up. Michael fidgets behind me and I sit up so I'm not leaning on Michael anymore.

"Anyway, I was just wondering if you two were hungry for lunch yet? It's about half past 12. Want to go out?"

"Um... sure I guess. Where would we be going?" I reply, getting up from the bed.

"We can go to this nice little Italian bistro. It's a little farther but the food is good. I'd like to get to know you guys better. It's been a while since I've last seen you, Theodore. Plus, I would love to get to know Michael." Aunt Alice says, smiling at us. We both nod and get ready to go out. The restaurant is about 30 minutes away from Aunt Alice's house, and on the way there the three of us chat about aimless subjects.

We talk about things like our friends, what happened during university, a bit about Michael, how we met, etc. It's quite a bit of fun talking about how we met, laughing over memories of the fools we made of ourselves. Aunt Alice seems to genuinely enjoy hearing about it too, she has a fond smile on her face.

At the restaurant, Aunt Alice orders a plate of pasta while Michael and I decide to split a pizza. We practically moan at the taste of the food, it was really good! Overall, our time with Aunt Alice was tons of fun. She was very easygoing and Michael felt comfortable around her as well. They engage me in a lot of the conversation, and I'm happy to respond. It keeps my parents at the back of my mind.

After lunch, we head back to Aunt Alice's house and she leaves us be while she goes to work on other things. Michael sits down on the bed and pulls me next to him.

"How are you feeling?" He asks. I let out a small huff, suddenly wanting to be alone.

"I think I've reached my social limit." I say honestly. He nods slowly.

"Do you need me to leave? I just don't want you to think too much by yourself." He asks.

"I'll be fine. Don't worry too much." I reply, my impatience starting to grow. He stands up and gives me a peck on the forehead before saying bye and walking out of the room. I walk him to the door and he says goodbye to Aunt Alice before leaving.

I walk back to my room, close the door, and flop into the bed, shoving my face into the pillow. I feel kinda bad about kicking Michael out, but people's presence was starting to annoy me. It's been a pretty social day, and I need a few hours by myself to recharge.

I let my thoughts drift off as I relish in the near silence of the room. I can faintly hear the clinking of dishes from Aunt Alice, but it's almost calming, like everything's normal. Just a normal family.

I really feel like I've let my parents down. I'm their only child. They put all their hopes and dreams into me. I was supposed to grow up, get a job, get married, have kids, and the chain continues. Why was being gay a sin anyway? Because I couldn't have children?

Nevertheless, it still stung a lot. To have your parents so willing to cut you out of their life because of who you are. I'm not worth anything if they're so willing to throw me away. Would they have cared if I had nowhere to go? If I had to resort to living on the streets with almost nothing? Would they care that I would never finish my university degree?

Tears spring up from my eyes, and I try desperately to hold them back. My chest feels heavy at the thought of my parents abandoning me so easily. Did I really deserve this?

Suddenly the near silence makes me so much more aware of the fact that I'm alone. I'm not completely alone but I definitely feel alone. The clinking of the dishes have stopped and I guess Aunt Alice has progressed to doing something else, but the house is dead silent. The silence makes me jittery, an unsettling presence I don't want to be there.

But at the same time, I'm terrified to break the silence, like something bad will happen if I make noise.

If I broke up with Michael, would my parents take me back?

Probably not. They hate me because I'm gay, right? Having a boyfriend is only part of it. Plus, if I broke up with Michael, he'd probably be mad at me too.

So what am I supposed to do? There's basically no win to this situation. If I get a girlfriend to appease my parents, I won't be happy. I'll be sad and miserable and regretting what I did in the future.

On the other hand, if I let myself be happy with Michael, who knows how long this relationship is going to last? What if he decides to break up with me in a year or two? Then I wouldn't have my parents or a significant other. The thought of that hurts.

A knock at the door interrupts my train of thoughts.

"Theodore? May I come in?" Aunt Alice's voice asks through the door. I nod before realizing that she can't see me, and voice my approval.

"You've been awfully quiet for a long while. Everything okay?" Aunt Alice asks, concern evident in her voice.

"Yeah. Just thinking. Why? How long has it been?" I reply.

"... It's been about an hour and a half." Aunt Alice says quietly. I blink in surprise. I was thinking for an hour and a half?

"Honey, if you're worried about your parents, don't. I'll talk to them, I promise." She assures me.

"... Thanks." I mutter quietly. Would talking to my parents really do anything, though?