the fault in our scars

fuck I lived

——

"Patrick please wake up please" I try to open my eyes but I can't

"What happened to him, is my son gonna be okay!?

I instantly recognise the voices, as my mum and my sister.

"I don't know why he did this, things were so perfect, i know we'd been fighting but we were going to be happy and work through it, we were going to couples counselling" Pete was here my heart dropped.

"Patrick never told any of us that" my mum said

"He told me that he was sorry, that'd he'd said some things that that weren't true when he was angry at me, I told him I forgave him, Patrick why" Pete said he sounded upset I knew it was fake

"Oh Pete he will be okay hun where are the kids? Are you going to bring them?"

"No they won't understand, Brendon is coming here later him and Patrick would always hang up if I was at work" Pete was a great liar I'd met Brendon twice. I also hated him he treated his boyfriend, Ryan like Pete treated me. I'd met Ryan once when Pete made me go over to the house Brendon screamed at him. And you could see the fear in his eyes he had the facial expression I knew only to well. Ryan was a beautiful man, he was sweet, kind and so so talented, he had beautiful eyes too. They were light brown, with drops of honey, I really did like Ryan, I didn't have a crush but I knew in another life I could fall for him. He was younger than Brendon too they never spoke about when they met though. After Pete and my mum spoke and the doctors came and did some tests I couldn't speak or move but I could hear and feel everything. My mum had left with my sister and the kids from what I gathered were with Pete mum, Brendon came in

"Pete, what the fuck did you too him?" He said almost chuckling

"Nothing he took an overdose, to get out of me beating him" Pete said coldly

"Oh god if Ryan did that he'd better hope he dies, otherwise I'd kill him myself" Brendon stated proudly

"Yeah they reckon he'll wake up, I really don't care I could use the sympathy, at least I didn't have to do anything this time" Pete responded, I was trying to wrap my head around what he meant

"Yeah, I hated Ashley man, I'm glad you fucking killed he-"

"SHUT UP ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME CAUGHT"

"Oh shit I forgot"

"How's Ryan anyway?"

"Locked in the spare room, I broke his arm and gave him a black eye, he burnt my dinner and forgot to wear the make up I wanted him too"

"Cool"

"Anyway I gotta go, you coming? I'm going to get drunk"

"Yeah let's go"

They left. I could feel water on my cheeks if started crying, I was with my best friends killer. What the fuck. I needed out. But how I couldn't I didn't know what to do? Can I still die? The doctor came in, and called other people in they started talking to me

"Honey your going to be okay, we know you can hear us that's a good sign, I know it's overwhelming to hear your family but your going to be okay just don't strain yourself alright darling calm down"

My heart monitor started beating even faster
More nurses came in and prodded and poked me, I was awake by the time they left, I opened my eyes for the first time, I didn't want anyone to know I was awake but how long could pretend. I tried rip my i.v out then a nurse came in