The Only Half I Need - {Synyster Gates - Book 3} -

Chapter 8

Katie’s POV

“… and then this fucking low life shot you. Without any reason! You just wanted to protect the kid, why you ever did that I will never know but anyways … I had thought that I had lost you. Hell, I even did! You had surgery but in the middle of it your heart started giving up. That’s why they put you into this fucking coma, taking your memory away from you.”

Jeremy clenched his free fist in anger. He had been very emotional the whole time which intimidated me a bit. He seemed to have very strong feelings for me and the longer he held my hand and the more I realized that he cared for me so much the worst I started to feel, because I couldn’t remember anything of what he had just told me. Nothing rang a bell. It only gave me a headache.

“Wow. This is …” I started softly but he cut me off.

“Horrifying?”

“Well yeah, that too, but I was going for ‘a lot’.” I said and looked at his quizzical expression. “I mean, you just told me half of my life story. My brain is about to shut down because of information overload.”

“I understand my love, I really do.” Jeremy sighed, calming down a bit. “I wish I could turn back time and hold you back … I should have reacted differently when I saw the determination in your eyes.” He said and kissed the top of my hand, leaving a light tingling feeling on my skin. That feeling was familiar but I couldn’t put my finger on it where I had felt something like butterflies in my tummy before.

“You said we know one another really well.” I chuckled. “I’m as stubborn as a mule … you think you could have hold me back?” He sighed.

“I guess not.”

“See?” I squeezed his hand. A comforting gesture. “I don’t mind being in a hospital. Or throwing myself in front of that kid. If it’s true that I’m your tour manager and that because of me the first shows had to be cancelled, that is what makes me upset. It makes me feel guilty. That and the frustration that I can’t remember shit makes me so angry and depressed.”

“Guilty? Are you kidding me?” He frowned. “It’s not like you were begging him to kill you.”

“I know but I can’t help how I feel.” I looked down to our hands.

“Well, it’s stupid …” He scoffed.

“What?” My head jerked up. I was so taken aback by his hurtful words that I pulled my hand out of his grasp.

“My feelings aren’t stupid.” I simply said. Jeremy’s eyes grew wide and he opened his mouth to say something – whether it was explaining himself or throwing around with apologies – but I didn’t want to hear it. My headache was getting worse so I just wanted to be alone and finally relax.

“Just … I’d like to be alone right now. If you don’t mind.” As if I cared …

“Of course. But … just know that I didn’t mean it that way, I swear. Your feelings are very important to me.” Jeremy said sweetly.

“Thank you.” I said softly and leaned back into my pillows, not looking at him anymore. I felt how I started to close up, an emotional way to protect myself. At this moment it felt like the right thing to do. With a heavy sigh Jeremy stood from his chair next to my bed. He hesitated for a moment but then he leaned forward and placed a lingering kiss onto my forehead before he left the room.

The beeping noise of the heart monitor was the only sound filling my room for a long time. I was looking out of the window and into the clear blue sky. My head was still hurting from the huge amount of information Jeremy had given me about my life. But I had to admit that some pieces didn’t make any sense to me.