!!!!Side Bitch!!!!

Chapter 26

"John can you schedule a visit with August for me?" He looked at me. "For?" "I want to take the full sentence."

"Your sure?" I nodded. "Yeah."

I walked off and began walking back to my bunk. "Amare?" Amiyah called. "Huh?" "You can't take the rest of the sentence."

"And why not?"

"You just can't." I rolled my eyes. "That's not a reason." I said brushing pass her.

I went back to my bunk to see May sitting there. "Amare?" "What? You here to talk me out of it too?"

"Actually I am." I sighed.

"Why?"

"Amare you remember when you was telling me every night your daughter would ask where's daddy? Why doesn't he love me or want me?" I nodded.

"Now every night she'll be asking where's mommy and why she don't love us cause best believe if you take the rest of them years you won't be in this lil prison they gone have yo ass in there with them real criminals and to be honest you won't survive a day."

"Your point?"

"My point is Amare, your kids need you. August decided to step up and take that time nobody forced him to. It's time to think about Amare for real.

He ain't care about taking yo kids from you, sending you to prison, hiding a wife, baby, and a whole other life.

You finally get to pay him back for all that suffering and you won't do it why?

Cause you so blinded by love you can't even see there's no more love there Amare. August doesn't love you like you love him."

"May stop you trying to hurt me." I said on the edge of tears.

"Amare I promise I'm not. I'm telling you the truth and the truth hurts sometimes. How can you possibly be married to Matthew when yo heart is with August?

You're wasting both of y'all time.

Even if Matthew is the whole package he'll never be August and he'll never be fully what you want." She said hugging me.

I broke down and held her. "I love August so much May." I told her.

"I know you do Amare." "Did I make a mistake?" "I won't say you made a mistake cause you married him for a reason but I will say you rushed into it too fast.

You never had a real male figure so you go for the first person to show you affection cause you wish you had it when you was younger. You gone continue to be like that until you actually get some real. Matthew loves you clearly but you can't fully love him back until you love yourself."

"I don't know how to."

"For starters you got time in here to work on that. You clearly bad as hell and not just looks wise. You been handling shit on yo own for a while now.

You got 4 kids and was doing an amazing job at raising them.

Use that. Use all the love you've gained for your kids and put it onto yourself. You deserve to love yourself just as much."

"Thank you so much." "No problem ma."

I pulled away. "You gone be okay?" I nodded. "I think so."
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*One Month Later*
I'm now 8 months pregnant and it's been so hard. I'm ready to explode.

August never met up with me about the sentence and Jr. haven't brung my kids by to visit me in a while. I've been seriously going through depression.