Teach Me How To Play Guitar (On Hold for now)

The List

I woke up the next day feeling thoroughly refreshed. I checked my clock and seeing that it was only 8am I decided I would relax for a little before getting ready to go to Will's house.

I checked my phone and there still wasn't a reply for Nick which was very suspicious, he was always on his phone. Maybe by the time he got my text he knew I would be in bed so he didn't respond... That's it. He'll come later.

My mam poked her head round the door, "Me and Robin are going out, you doing anything today?"

"Yea, going to see Will, Nick and Haydn,"

"Aw that'll be lovely, what time you meeting them?"

"11,"

"Alright, if you get back at a decent time will you take Gemma out shopping and buy her a new pair of shoes?"

"Erm, yea, sure," Was she using me?

The same thought must have occurred to her, "It's only if you have time, she really needs new shoes and me and Robin are busy, I'll pay you back as soon as you get them,"

"Okay mam,"

She came in to the room and sat on my bed, I was scared she was going to talk about the hospital. Instead she just brushed the curls out of my eyes and kissed my forehead, got up, and left the room. I heard the front door slam and the car pull out of the drive shortly afterwards.

I got out of bed and crossed my room and sat down on the window seat looking outside the window at the newly risen sun. I then started rifling through my sheets of paper, reading through lyrics that I would never dream of using now.

I then came to a blank piece of paper in the pile. It was titled: The List.

I knew instantly what that was.

It was a list that I was going to write when I was younger, a list of things that I wanted to do before I die.

No time like the present.

I wanted to make sure that I did some things for myself and some things for other people, that would make me content when I died, the only way I could be happy.

After about an hour the list ended up looking like this:

1) Write and record the album to the best of my ability so the boys have a good future.

2) Let the boys know how much I love them.

3) Learn new skills.

4) Work as hard as I can.

5) See my family more.

6) Sky dive!

7) Show the fans how much I appreciate them.

8) Win an award

9) Be remembered

10) Fall in love...

I don't know whether the final two on my list will happen... Especially number 10... But it would be nice to fall in love, and have someone there by my side as I take my final breaths.

I don't know when would be the right time to actually tell people that I'm going to die. Should I tell them a week before I'm expected to die? Should I tell them now? Should I never tell them at all?

Eurgh, why is this so difficult. I buried my head in my hands. I could hear laughs from the garden, so I lifted my head up to listen and watch. Gemma was outside playing with Dusty, chasing him around the garden, Dusty chasing the flowers that were in the flowerbeds. Sometimes you wouldn't believe that Gemma was older than me, but her fun side just made her all the more beautiful. Even if I couldn't get them today I was going to buy her a pair of shoes...