Prayers

FIVE

FIVE

He knew he'd find her here, in the quiet and manicured surroundings of Berk Cemetery, in the Garden of Remembrance. Set aside from the general area, the Garden was surrounded by beautiful trees, a variety of leaf colours and sizes and the manicured lawn was dotted with small markers for the deceased children, most adorned with flowers and toys. The sky was scudding grey overhead and the wind was chilly as he glanced across the horribly familiar space. And there, sitting back on her heels in front of the plain cream stone marker, was Astrid. Her navy blue Barbour jacket was wrapped tightly around her slender shape, her arms resting in her lap and her golden braid over her left shoulder as usual. Seeing here here, staring at the tiny grave of her unborn child, broke Hiccup's heart. But he tightened his grip on the crutches and he carefully manoeuvred over the grass until he ended up behind her.

Slowly, she looked up, her face sad and eyes shining.

"Hey," she said tonelessly. He managed a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Hey," he replied gently. "How are you?" She rubbed her arms.

"Cold," she admitted. He sighed.

"It's Berk-it's always cold," he reminded her lightly. She looked away.

"Oh," she said. Sighing, he lowered himself to his knees behind her, using the crutches to steady himself and then he wrapped his arms around her. Quietly, she leaned back against him and he felt her hands slide up over his arms, nuzzling into her hair.

"Any better?" he asked and she nodded wordlessly.

"He's all alone here," she whispered. "I miss him." He buried his nose in her hair then pressed a kiss onto her head. He tightened his embrace, wanting to wrap her in his love and shield her from the griefs and realities of the world.

"Me too," he whispered back as she squirmed round to face him, wrapping her arms around him.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "It was my fault." He urgently grasped her face in his hands and kissed her.

"No," he reassured her softly. "You did everything you could to save him. You almost lost your life. I made the decision. I almost lost you both. So blame me, Milady. I lost him." She buried her face in his chest.

"We both lost little Finn," she sighed. "My only child. My beautiful son."

"Our beautiful son," he amended. "He is always going to be with us, Astrid. But I can't let you freeze. Let's go to Gobber's Cafe and warm us." She nodded but remained snuggled into his chest. "Um...you okay in there?" She nodded.

"You're nice and warm," she mumbled, her voice sounding steadier. "Sorry. I was going through my papers and found one of my old antenatal appointment slips...and it all brought it back to me. And I just had to come and see him. Sorry."

"I sometimes come here as well," he admitted. "Often after a case, when I would have loved to have talked to Dad. When I could have used his expertise and experience...if he hadn't disowned me for wanting to defend rather than prosecute. And I know in my heart he would have come round eventually...but that brain haemorrhage never gave him that chance. So I talk to my son..." His voice had thickened and Astrid looked up, because he normally had a good control of his emotions. She suspected he was very wounded by what had happened, almost as badly as she was...but for her, he put on his mask and was the strong one.

"And you couldn't talk to me?" she asked, feeling stricken and terribly guilty. He shook his head.

"How can I ask you to listen to my concerns and worries when you already have so much to deal with?" he asked. "You're still grieving for our son. How can I ask you to support me when I sometime have doubts? I..." She frowned.