Dark Thoughts

How?

How is it you got over me so soon?

It took me forever to get over you. I'm still not over you.

You sick fuck.

You told me first "I love you"

And I believed you. I said it back.

You told me every day "you are perfect for me"

And I believed you. I said it back.

You told me constantly "we will be together forever"

And I believed you. I said it back.

YOU told me you fucking loved me. YOU told me all these things....those wonderful things were all lies.

It only took 24hrs for you to get over me.

YOU fucking told me YOU couldn't be in a relationship anymore.

YOU decided to keep information away from me.

And YOU broke up with me.

Even though it was 'so hard' for you to break up with me.

Was it because I cared too fucking much? Deceiving in being clingy...

Was it because I didn't want to do all these crazy things for you, not with you? Showing I had dignity in myself....

Was it because I moved to another city to fulfill my dream while you did yours? Showing I had hope in us....

Why didn't I see the signs....

Before we both would do all these things...together.

But After moving I had to say "I love you first". Every. Time.

After moving I had to make the phone calls to make sure you were okay. Every. Time.

After moving I had to ask how was your day...even though I knew you didn't care about it or telling me about it. Every. Time.

After moving I had to keep the conversations going. Because YOU couldn't care enough to tell me and make those conversations we both wanted. Every. Fucking. Time.

And yet, I had changed.

Yet, I had to keep this relationship going. While you told me I could do better. For us.

You told ME I could do better for us.
Huh, yet you didn't give anything into the relationship.

So how come I am the one in pain? How come I can't seem to get over it? Yet you took 24 fucking hours to get over me.

YOU told me all these things and yet somehow I am the one getting hurt.

Why?

How?

I don't understand....yet I do.

Because now I realize you got over it because the was YOU.

Looking back, you didn't give a single fuck in our relationship.

Looking back it was me putting everything into the relationship.

Looking back, I should be the one moving on so fast. Not you.

So I ask you this, my ex: how?