My hair is cold and feels uneven
So i bore my eyes into my reflection
For 23 minutes until it sits
Proportional on my shoulders
My eyes in my reflection locking with my own
Green but not like the forest or the grass that collects dew on a peaceful morning
Green like swamp water that hasn't been touched in years because someone stopped caring for it
And my eyes seem like a stranger to myself
As I stare at them and wonder how they still
Open after blinking.
What makes them want to keep looking
At everything bad in the world
And why can't I be normal enough
That I can take down this mirror
With its ugly trim and cold stare and hard truth
That stares at me everyday
Judging
Watching
Telling me why I'm not perfect
Though that is my ambition in life
Perfect is my objective
And this mirror is telling me the opposite
Telling me my damaged spots
Like pointing out the holes and stains in the ceiling
Or the flaws in a film as you leave the theatre
Except the difference is that as you leave the theatre you laugh
Even if the movie is horrible you laugh because it was fun still
I am not like this
I am only imperfections
And this gray mirror so much like death reminds me of this every time I blink
Every time I tell my eyes not to open again.
And yet I do not take down the mirror
Because even though it is impelling me towards irrationality
(Insanity)
It yet keeps me sane
Knowing I can use it to try to erase the problems it screams at me each day
And quite possibly knowing?
That the ugly trim and cold stare and hard truth
Are simply in myself
In my head that I wish was less unbalanced
Because I am not just staring at the mirror with trembling fingers as
I run my hand through my hair the millionth time
I am staring at my self staring back at me
She is the one judging to the full extent
But i don't tell myself this
I tell myself that it is the mirrors fault
Because it hurts more to blame yourself.
50 days
Before I blink
Without opening
Again
.
.Kate
YOU ARE READING
The universe mixed with you.
PoetryThe stars line up and the planets spin around in my head and in the center of the orbit is you. you are now very much reading my mind and the emotion bottled inside. handle it with care. i love you <3
