The universe mixed with you.

orbit. 49 Days.

A/N- play anything by sleeping at last while reading this. if you want.

first period
then second
then third
each bringing a new face
or two
or three
all with the same nervous glint
in their eyes
like guppies who know they're swimming through a shark tank
And I try to give a smile
Let them know that it's okay,
That this tank will break eventually
and we'll escape
But my smile is cracked
And my eyes feel red
Because I know that i'm lying to them
Lying to myself.
They're innocent
I have to be the experienced one
Give them the act and the smile
I tell myself that I have to be there for them
Because no one else will
I have to be the one to smile at them
So they'll feel light inside
Even if it's pulling from my own illumination.
Doesn't matter about my candle
Because what matters is that they have a good impression
And remember
the person who smiled at them
Have to have the impression perfect.

It's not fair,
Leading them on like this.
Making them feel like it's going to be fine
They should know the truth
That the sharks are everywhere
in these halls
inside of me
inside of them
At least i think
I wonder if they too feel the gnawing pain in their chest
Just me?

I wonder then if I should speak
Tell these new people
What to do
Where to go
How to act
Will they know that i'm trying to help?
Will they know i'm a guppy too?
Am I?
Are we all the sharks in disguise?
Hiding from our own masks
Glancing from side to side
Fearing ourselfs
Jumping at reflections
And twigs snapping
Here in these walls
you must understand
How to act
So that you won't get bitten
I can't let anything happen to them

But i don't say this. I smile and clench my fists
Please understand this message.

But i have to drop the act
And breath under control
Can't let them see me like this.
Keep everything perfect
Like planets so close to being in perfect line
in orbit
But the planets are shaking
And I'm trying to steady them
But i can't because my own hands shake
Are the planets in me or these new faces?
Both?
Am i just like them?
My hands sweat and my head aches with a passion that i cannot contain.
Saturns rings are falling
And Mars is exploding
And i find my feet moving
And my legs crumpling
And my face feels cold and watery
like it's melting everywhere
So i close my eyes
and Let the orbit
take
control.

has to be perfect.

-Kate

A/N- thanks for the votes and reads. I appreciate it. Love you.
A/N 2- this chapter is how i'm feeling right about now. just the panicking part for some reason. I'm not sure if it's easy to tell what the chapter is kind of about but either way hope u like it. ❣️ have a good day/night my loves.