Tell Me Why || Tj + Cyrus (tyrus)

stupid jonah beck

it's been a another week since I've come out to Andi and Buffy, things felt better- good, even. But I haven't seen Tj, I don't know why I'm even expecting too. We have completely different schedules. Wait, stop Cyrus. Stop thinking about stupid tj kippen.

"Cyrus? Cyrus are you listening?"

Andi's voice cut through my thoughts.

"Yeah, yeah of course. Jonah did what now?"

She was almost always talking about Jonah freaking Beck. Jonah can't stop playing with everyone's feelings beck. Jonah Oblivious Athlete Beck.

"As I was saying," andi continued while Buffy and I pretend to listen. I wasn't in a Jonah mood today.

As I pretend to pay attention to Andi, my mind wandered off somewhere else. Back to the part of me I've been trying to ignore. I was finally remind after a week of normal ness, that I indeed was different, weird and disgusting. Once the terrible thing guts crept back in, I couldn't stop them.

Stupid jonah beck.  No. This wasn't Jonah's fault, it wasn't his fault that he made by heart skip a beat whenever he was around. But I want to to be his fault. I wanted to march up to him and yell at him, telling him to stop whatever he had done to make me feel this way.

If I never met Jonah, maybe I wouldn't feel this way.

"I have to go." I said quickly, interrupting andi.

"You okay, cy?" Buffy asked, her hand how in my shoulder.

"Yeah. Yes I'm fine, and don't call me cy." I tried to sound as fine as possible, while attempting to control my breathing.

I quickly got up from the my spot in the lunch room and sped walk through the lunch room door, finding that my feet didn't stop going until I had left the school. I'm visiting the swings, I haven't been there in a week. God, why can't I just be normal.

-

I was finally safe at the swing set, school wouldn't be let out for another few hours, so I'm safe here, safe to be alone.

"we meet again."

I heard a familiar voice behind me, turning to see who it was.

"Tj?"

"Yeah." He said, sitting in the swing next to me.

"Why are you here?" I questioned

"Not important, why are you here?"

"Not important." I muttered.

His eyes looked up and met mine, why can't he just go away? God, why can't the whole world just go away.

"Hey, I'm here to talk." He shrugged.

"but.. you'll think I'm stupid." I whispered so quietly that I was sure stupid, mean, Tj Kippen couldn't hear me.

"What was that?" He asked.

"Nothing. Nothing that concerns you." I replied, a rude tone replacing my usual one.

"Fine. You don't have to tell me, I was only trying to help." the dirty blonde stated, almost offended.

"Can't you just let me be, Tj? I won't give my deepest darkest secrets away to the school bully!"

I stood up from the swing, not taking my eyes off of Tj. His face sunk, how the heck does someone so strong and mean make a face like that? I feel bad now. But I can't, can I? A face of hopelessness, regret, guilt.. sorrow? How?

A few seconds passed, but god did they feel like hours. It was silent. God why isn't he saying anything?

Say something for goodness sake.

"I deserved that." He finally managed to spit out. "I definitely deserved that."

"I- I'm sorry."

I was, I really was. Tj was a jerk to everyone including Buffy, but he didn't deserve this. I need to straighten myself up.

"You don't deserve to be talked to like that."

"Cyrus, believe me. It's fine." he told me in a comforting way. "Really, don't worry."

—-
Filler? Idk y'all but the tea is coming.