Ivy of Our Hearts

Thirty-one

Manderley didn't always join me on my walks through the woods, so I'd go on my own, not too far, but far enough to quench my thirst for it. It fed my heart.

I went every day, even when the weatherman on the radio said, "Stay indoors if you can." Nothing but rain could keep me from exploring, even then I would stand at the door, my gaze on the trees below, thinking of the way they'd whispered to me the day before.

The woods no longer frightened me.

Since Phillip didn't keep a calendar in the house, at least not one he kept visible, I kept track of the days on the little notepad Manderley had brought me. I'd put a big circle around October 31st. Halloween had always filled me with excitement. Every Halloween, I felt like a little kid, offering up my bag to be filled with treats.

What would the woods offer me today?

I got out of bed, much earlier than I did most days. Even Manderley hadn't yet risen. Phillip slept with one leg hanging over the couch. A dull, gray light fell in through the windows. I pulled the door open and stepped outside. Winter galloped to me as soon as he saw me, sniffing my palm and licking it.

"Good morning," I said, smoothing my hand over the top of his head.

Having him in the house had been more trouble than it was worth. As his leg healed, he would gallop through the house, kicking, sniffing, and tearing at things. He'd knocked over two vases and the couch had a hole in its side where stuffing stuck out. Margaret helped me care for him to the best of our ability, but he belonged out there and the sooner we put him back the better. Today, Phillip and I would take him back to where I'd found him.

"How did you sleep?" I asked him, but he'd already lost interest in me and galloped away to the fence. I suspected that he missed being outside of the fence. I'd always catch him sniffing it or nipping at it, as he did now. He probably liked to listen to them, too, the trees with their hushed voices. Maybe they beckoned him.

Soon the cold air became too cold against the thin fabric of my nightdress. I called, "See you later, Winter," and went back inside. Although it hadn't yet hit seven am, I got ready for the day. By the time Phillip, Manderley, and Margaret woke, I had already dressed and sat at the table with a cup of tea and Nora's copy of Jane Eyre. No matter how much I tried, after every line I read, I'd turn to the back of the book to reread Nora's writing, hoping to catch more of her in the curl of her letters. Nora inspired me. She'd been in love with someone she couldn't have. And after her heartbreak, she'd opened her heart to Phillip, who she'd owed nothing to.

"Morning," Phillip said. "It was you making all of that noise earlier." He got up to open the door for Manderley.

On cue, Manderley dove out of it. After she had gone, Phillip stood in the doorway. He closed it as Margaret came in.

"Happy Halloween," she said, spreading her arms. She'd already changed for the day. Her dark hair had been pulled back into a ponytail. The ponytail swung back and forth as she turned to me and Phillip.

"Happy Halloween, Margaret," Phillip said, gathering his things up on the couch. He stuffed them into his duffel bag. "We'll leave as soon as I'm dressed," he said to me. He took his clothes into the bathroom.

Margaret began to make herself a cup of tea. "Did you check on Winter?" she asked, taking the box of peppermint tea out of the cabinet.

"He's okay." I gulped down the rest of my own cup and brought it to the sink.

Phillip came back out as I turned off the water. "Ready?" he said