18

Chapter Five: Envy

I awake in my bed, sitting up violently. What happened last night? Why can't I remember anything? I pulled my legs out of bed, and sat on the edge, rubbing my head. I had a pounding migraine. Did I get drunk last night? Oh God... my head was going to be the death of me. I stood, and walked into the bathroom. I grabbed two ibuprofen, and swallowed them with a glass of sink-water. I looked in the mirror. Unbrushed hair, acne on my cheeks, my skin looked pale. Same clothes as the day before, bags underneath my eyes. God, no wonder nobody loved me...

"Rusty?" I heard a voice call, and my mother walked in the bathroom behind me. She looked at me, and held her breath for a second. She was obviously disgusted by how I looked. I brushed my hair, flattening it out, and then I put on my acne cream, to help remove blemishes. I put on some tan cover-up to hide my dark circles and make me look better, not so sickly.

"Rusty, are you okay? You look ill." My mom said, and I nodded.

"I'm fine. Just a little tired. And I had a headache. I already took medicine." I said, and turned towards my mom, a fake smile painting my face.

"Look, I'm sorry about last night. I know how much you love him. It must have been hard-" My mom said, but I cut her off.

"Yes, mother, thank you. But, um, I'm not exactly in the mood. Sorry." I said, starting to leave.

"Then, I guess this is a bad time to tell you..." She said, and I stopped. I looked at her, and grabbed her shoulders.

"Tell me what?" I said, looking desperately at her.

"Thaaaaaaaat... Jordan and Anthony went to dance without you."

I sat in my mom's car, and she drove me quickly to the dance studio. Once we got there, I stomped out of the car angrily, and headed for the doors. I opened them forcefully, and then started up the stairs. I slipped off my shoes at the top, and then walked right in to the class. Larry, Jordan and Anthony all looked at me confused.

"Rusty? What are you doing here?" Jordan said, a slight sound of panic in his voice.

"Oh, just thought I'd come to class today. Seeing as someone didn't ask if I wanted to." I replied, putting my hands on my hips.

"Rusty, aren't you sick? Jordan said you had a temperature, and that you were throwing up." Larry said, stopping what he was doing."

"He said what?!" I yelled.

"Um..." Anthony said quietly.

"Stay out of this, you rapist! I remember what happened now!" I said, and everyone turned to Anthony, who was a bright shade of red.

"Rapist? Rusty, you must be confused." Anthony said defensively.

"I am not confused!" I yelled.

"It must be the fever..." Jordan said quietly, and I walked over and punched him, square in the jaw.

"Rusty!" Anthony yelled, and knelt by Jordan's side.

"Oh, shut-up, Romeo! Sure you go to him when he needs help, but me? No, maybe because I'm-"

"Maybe because you sent me to the fucking emergency room!" Anthony yelled.

"What?!" Larry screamed.

"Maybe if you didn't hurt me then I wouldn't have had to hurt you!"

"Maybe if you weren't so sensitive, then I wouldn't have hurt you!"

"ENOUGH!" Larry yelled, coming between the two of us.

"Yes, enough. I've had enough. I have had enough of you, and Jordan, and Larry! I am through with all of this shit!" I screamed, and ran out of the studio, sliding on my shoes, and running out of the building. I ran past my car, and to the highway. I ran to the bridge, and looked down.

I could end it all.

I could end all of this pain.

I could end everything...

"Rusty!" I hear, and I turn. It's Anthony. He's running towards me. I'm sick of this, this cat and mouse game we constantly play. I pull myself onto the bridge wall, and I start to jump.

I expected more of a darkness than this. I open my eyes, and I am staring at concrete. A hand is holding my wrist. I look up, and I see Anthony, holding on to my life. I then look down, and see the rush of cars as they whiz past. I scream, and look at Anthony.

"Help me!" I yell, and he tries to pull, but I'm too heavy. He tries again, but only lifts me about an inch.

"Aaaahhhh!" I scream, and cars are beeping their horns at me. Anthony tries one more time to lift me, and this time, throws all of his weight backwards. It scraps my arm, but it saves my life. Anthony stands and helps me up, and I hug him tightly.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I chant, and Anthony hugs me back. My tears are making his shirt wet.

"You're welcome. I don't want anyone dying because of me." He says, stroking my hair as tears keep falling.

We are walking back to the studio, Anthony obviously tired from running after me, and having to pull me up.

"Thanks, again. How'd you know I'd come here?" I asked, looking at him.

"You're welcome. Well, I knew you'd be upset, so I thought you might try something stupid. Plus, I followed you out here."

"You sound like a creeper." I say with a giggle.

"No, I was thinking more stalker than creeper."

"Good point." I reply with a smile. But that soon fades. "Hey, Anthony?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think you'll ever love me?" I say, and I stop. Anthony stops, too, and turns to me.

"Maybe when you are eighteen, and I am twenty-one." He says, and I sigh.

"Why so long?" I ask him.

"Well, I want it to be legal if we are going to get together. I mean, that's why I can't like you now. I'd be too much of a pedophile." Anthony explains. I look at him.

"But age is just a number. Love shouldn't be restricted to those types of things..." I say, and Anthony looks down.

"That's what I was thinking..." He mutters, looking at the ground. I don't quite catch what he said.

"What did you say?" I ask, and he looks at me.

"Oh, nothing. We should hurry back. The others are probably worried." He says, and we continue on our way. When we return, Anthony stops me before the door.

"Rusty," he says in a whisper, "I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean to freak out. And, um, I'm sorry." I look at him, and hug him softly, rubbing his back, his hands on the back of my head, lightly moving through my hair.

We enter the dance studio again just as Jordan and Larry step out.

"There you two are! What on earth was going on in there?!" My mom says, and I look at her. She gets the point, and shuts up.

"Sorry, I, um, needed some alone time. To think, you know?" I say, looking at Larry. He nods, and Jordan speaks.

"We just finished class. Larry has something to do anyways." Jordan says, "So you guys missed out. One man class was kind of fun!" Jordan exclaims, and Larry laughs.

"Yeah, we had fun. I got to beat the living hell out of you and I still get payed. Muhaha!" Larry says, rubbing the top of Jordan's head. I look at Anthony, who then looks down at me. We smile at each other, and then back at Larry and Jordan.

"Ready to go?" My mom asks, and Jordan nods. I nod too, and I look at Anthony. He looks at his mom, and she returns the look.

"Ready to go, Ant?" She says, and I giggle. He's six feet tall, anything but an ant. He looks at me with a crooked smile, then turns back to his mom, his face red.

I can tell he enjoys the nickname.

"Yup. See you guys later." He says, and waves as he and his mother depart. I wave back, and then turn towards the others.

"Let's go."