18

Chapter Six: Pride

I wake up to a bright, summer sun. School has been out for the entire summer, and now it is July 18th. Anthony and I talk often, which makes me happy. Maybe if we talk more often, he will realize he likes me. I get up and walk to the bathroom, turning on the hot water. I then step into the shower when the water reaches the perfect temperature. I wash my hair and shave my legs, then I turn off the water and dry myself off. I then walk back to my room, and change my clothes- a bright blue shirt with black patterns on it, and some torn khaki cargo shorts. I brush my long hair, and then check my phone for any texts or missed calls. I have a text from a random number. I open it, and read it.

'is this rusty?' It says, and I reply.

'why? who is this?'

'matt, emily's friend.' He says, and I recall going to his house for a party with Jordan and his girlfriend Emily, Anthony, and my best friend's sister, Alex, who had a crush on Anthony, too. But she knew that Anthony was gay, and that she'd never have him.

'oh, yeah. i remember you.' I reply.

'yeah, whats up?'

'not much. chilling at home. kinda bored. yourself?'

'eh, same. you know... i've always found you kind of cute.' He says, and I wonder if it's just Emily having fun with me.

'oh, sure. thanks.' I say, and there is a long pause before the next message.

'are you single?'

'um, i guess. i'm not seeing anyone, but i do like someone.'

'who?'

'a boy named anthony. you might know him. he was at your party.'

'oh, yeah! anthony! we flirted for a while. he was cute.'

'yeah. thats kinda why i like him...' I say. What is he trying to get at?

'hey, do you think i'm cute?' He asks. I look at the message for a long while, and then I go to my laptop. I turn on Facebook, and go to Emily's wall. He has a message posted there. I then stalk his page, looking through his pictures.

'yeah, sure. you're alright.' I say. There is another long pause.

'do you wanna be my boyfriend?'

A few nights later, Jordan is driving me to Matt's house. He is going to see Emily, and I am going to see Matt. It turns out he has liked me since the party, and once he opened up to me, he was really nice, and sweet. Once we reach his house, the sound of a barking dog fills the air. I shaved my legs, and I'm wearing a nice pair of faded, disaster skinny-jeans, and a light-blue/dark-brown plaid casual button up, one with button-closed pockets on both sides of the buttons. Converse cover my feet. Jordan and I walk up to the door. I ring the doorbell, but Jordan just barges inside like it's his house. Emily greets him on the other side, and Matt comes rushing down the stairs. His hair is dyed blonde, and he wears black skinny-jeans and a "My Chemical Romance" shirt. He smiles at me, and then ushers me in. I step inside, and a German Shepherd jumps onto my legs, sniffing my stomach, probably smelling my cat. I look at Matt, who grabs my hand, and leads me upstairs. Jordan and Emily are cuddling on the couch. Matt guides me into a bedroom, and closes the door before the dog can enter. He then turns around and looks at me. the light is off, and the curtains make the outside light dimmer, so the room seems cold.

"So..." Matt says, breaking me from my trance. I look at him, and he pats on the bed next to him. I walk over and lift myself up onto it.

"So..." I reply, and smile at him.

"Well... this is awkward..." He says, and I look at him.

"How so?"

"Well, it's all quiet, and I'm just an awkward person..."

"I like quiet, and you don't seem awkward."

"Don't judge a book by it's cover." He says, and I look at the ground.

"Because looks can be deceiving." I say in response, almost reflexively. Matt looks at me this time, and then smiles.

"You know, you are really cute when you are shy..." He says, and I look at him, a blush painting my cheeks. He then looks at the bed.

"So, um. So you want to kiss or something?" He says, and then his eyes dart to meet mine.

"Um... sure. I guess." I say, and Matt leans his lips towards mine. Then I start to think of Anthony, and as soon as his lips hit mine, a sharp pain shoots through me. I wince, and Matt opens his eye, pulling away.

"Are you okay?" He asks, and I'm confused as to what happened.

"Yeah, probably just a cramp." I reply, and kiss his neck.

The next thing I know, we are kissing passionately. Deep in a trance of love and romance. Matt starts feeling my stomach, sliding his hand under my shirt, across my chest.

"You're so beautiful..." He whispers between kisses. Then we continue making out on his bed.

"You think so?" I ask, pulling away. Matt looks at me.

"Of course! Rusty, you're so beautiful!" He exclaims. A jolt of pain shoots through me, as well a rush of chills. Matt looks at me strangely.

"Rusty, are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah. It's... nothing." I reply.

"Rusty, I don't want to keep kissing you if it hurts you. I'm sorry." He says, and moves away from me.

"No, Matt. It's not you, it's just... I'm hungry." I said, making an excuse.

"Then let's go eat." He says, and grabs my hand with a smile on his face, kissing me quickly before guiding me downstairs.

What I never told him was that a pain hit me then, too.