Friend, Please (twenty one pilots)

Ten

After recording the song we continued with our movie. Both of us could not make sense of what was going on, but that made it better. We laughed the whole way through and made jokes about the characters and their poor life decisions. I had to stop myself a few times when the thought of 'what are you laughing at' popped into my head but Josh soon pushed it away. I felt safe with him. I felt as if he could protect me and I could protect him.

The next morning we woke up and cooked breakfast together. Let me tell you, Josh eats a heck load of bacon. I was slightly worried for how much we would go through between grocery shops. We were both sat up the table picking at the last of our food exchanging small talk before we started to make our plans.

It was decided that we would head to Ikea to pick up a few things for the apartment. In reality, we just wanted an excuse to get out the house and mess around. Within the hour we had collected a shopping cart and were making our way around the maze like aisles.

"So, do you have any more songs hidden away up your sleeve?" Josh asked, pushing the trolley in whatever direction it would roll.

I shrugged, falling into step beside him. "More like segments..."

"I'm not a lyrical genius but if you want me to take a look then I'm cool with that."

A nod was sent his way as we carried on to the bedding section in silence.

"I have one called Holding On To You, actually. That's the only complete one I have." I muttered out, hoping he wouldn't hear me.

He did.

"Can I hear it tonight?"

"Sure."

Josh smiled and took note of the rather cheap pillows beside him on the display. He must have loaded about 6 into the cart before moving onto the bean bag section. Yup, we had one of those too.

"I like to be comfortable." He said through a laugh, stuffing the bean bag into the cart.

We ended up buying a whole new bedding set for both of us, including duvet and covers. The cart was piled high before we even got to the furniture which left me to grab another so we could fill it up with meaningless pieces of wood.

"What do you want to do with your life?" I blurted out, forgetting that sometimes the questions that pop into my head are better off staying there.

Josh looked to me, leaning on the handle of the cart. We had never really spoken too much about our futures. I know that deep down he didn't want to think about it purely because it seemed too far out of reach. I felt the same and wondered if since our first meeting he had felt what I did.

"I guess when it comes to careers... I don't really know. I'd like to work in a music shop I guess. That sounds pretty cool." Josh explained, looking around at the neatly put together bedside cabinets.

"No," I shot back, clearing my throat. "Like... what do you want to do with your life?"

I hoped he would understand.

The boy looked at me, the same expression he had on his face before I introduced myself. But there was a tiny spark. Tiny, but it was there. He did understand.

"I want to make people happy." he softly spoke, his gaze dropping from me and switching to where he was headed. "To be a friend."

A smile appeared on my face as I took note of his words. We headed on in silence for a few more moments before I spoke up again.

"I want people to understand me. To look at me and say 'hey, I feel that too'. That would mean everything to me."

Josh nodded in agreement, "I feel that, too. I get you."

A smile again took over my face as I looked down. "You're a pretty good friend, I guess."

"Well, thanks." He chuckled out, "This got pretty dark for an Ikea trip."

We continued down the aisles and picked up a few more things for the apartment. The cheapest but sturdiest of options were in our cart and we must have spent a good few hours in that place. I was beginning to forget what the outside world looked like.

After we paid and loaded the car up, I noticed Josh had become almost silent. I knew that it was a sign of unease or simply becoming stuck in your own mind. I sat behind the wheel and started the car, the radio blasting out some rock song. Immediately, I shut it off.

Once we were out the parking lot, I decided to dive in.

"Are you alright?"

Josh almost didn't move. I saw his eyes look up to the road ahead, the long silence filling up with the hum of the engine.

"Yeah," he started, clearing his throat. "I was just thinking about the night we met."

The night we met. The night we couldn't take it anymore. The night the light came back to us.

"What about it?"

Again, there was a long silence. But I know that this time he was pondering over the words he needed to get out of his system.

"I thought I was dead." I heard him mumble softly, "I thought it was impossible to do anything else."

It was my turn to leave the silence a little while before he continued.

"Everything was so worthless. It felt like there was rope wrapped around me really tight and I couldn't take a breath without choking and drowning. It was like..."

He trailed off, but I knew what he meant.

"It was like you needed to switch everything off. To stop time. Figure out the problem without going forward. I get you."

Josh scratched his head, "I've never met someone else who felt like me. I thought I was on my own."

"You're never alone. I know what you mean. We'll figure it out."