musical one shots

Conner has Wings

So I recently read a book called Wenny has wings and it's a sad and beautiful book. It's were a boy wrights letters to his dead sister Wenny. when I'm reading this story my little theater brain can't help but think what if this was Dear Evan Hansen so here I am. In this conner is still dead I know I'm sorry, but they where friends and Even will start to realize stuff after Conner is dead. This story starts off with Evan's first letter to Conner after he died.

Warnings: angst, suicide 

day 1

Dear Conner Murphy,

I'm sorry. I didn't get to you in time. I wish it was me instead of you. I should have died I deserved it . You never deserved this. You should still be here on earth. I like to pretend that you are still here by my side and every things okay, but I know your not and that's the problem.  I can't seem to be happy when your not here. I try to be happy and have fun but Jared is not exactly the best for that. he keeps bringing you up and making fun of you like you were right there, like you were still alive. I don't like it, its not okay it's like talking about you behind your back but worse. He keeps trying to mention you to cheer me up but It Just doesn't work its like its physically impossible for me to be happy and I feel bad about it. I don't think I deserve to be happy. Conner if your reading this just please however ghost communicate with mortals, weather it's in dreamers or what just please talk to me I need to hear your voice one more time. It's truly the only way I will be happy.

-Sincerely Me

Day 4                                             

Dear Conner Murphy,

I'm sorry I haven't written to you these past cuple of days but I realize that the letter I wrote  yesterday was very selfish I didn't think about you and how are in a better place. So I'm going to spend this whole letter just complementing you. You only now are literally an angel but you have always been one to me its like you were my guardian angel. you made me a better person and opened my eyes thank you for that.

I don't just miss talking to you I miss seeing you. you had beautiful eyes. they were a pretty blue with a flake of brown. Your beautiful brown hair. My I just say you have great cheek bones.

You where my only real friend Jared was just a family friend and Honestly I don't care if he's just there fr the car insurance let him get that insurance but you actually cared you didn't want any thing from me. You where just as lonely as me and we both needed someone to look after them and someone to look after. Thank you for being that someone.

I also have some questions a cuple of suggestions so I'm going to list them out:

1.) What was I too you?

2.) Did you really love your sister or is what people say true. That you abuse Zoe?

3.) How. The. Fern.  Are. You. So. Perfect. Why when I think of you do I get happy for a second and then race to the bathroom and cry remembering that I'll never see you again in this lifetime? After that I remember that we will meet again after I die then my face goes all red and I can't tell if it's anger of happiness. what is that? I go through this cycle a lot because I think about it all the time.

4.) this is a suggestion I know you can't like in person answer these so however you can communicate or even just give me a slight felling please try to answer these.

5.) Why did you do it? Why did you kill your self?

 - sincerely me

Day 5

Dear Conner Murphy,

How do you know if your gay?

Day 6

Dear Conner Murphy 

Hey Conner I'm gay. Please don't hate me and this might be weird but I think I had a crush on you. I've been thinking about the letter I wrote a little while ago and how I was complementing you. My face turning red was blushing because I was thinking of you. 

The question "what am I to you?" Keeped echoing in my head. The voices say that maybe I was more than a friend to you. Maybe the voice was you maybe you were answering my questions. I continue to think about my answer to the question and I think maybe we went beyond your  average kind of bond.   At the time sense I've never had a real friend I thought that was all it was but I don't know any more.

I'm I found Zoe crying today. A real sad cry. Not a scared cry. Not a happy cry. But a sad cry. Almost regret. I think that answers my question about Zoe but you sent the sign to her. You deep down really cared about her but you never really new how to express it and the other way around too. When I found her I didn't know how to comfort her so I asked Alana she said that first she needs a hug and cry next you talk to her. After she cried for about 30 minutes I finally asked her why she was crying and she said it was you. She ranted about how you were not the monster for about 15 minutes. This is when the actual conversation started. She said it was true that you abused her but now that your gone all she can think of is when you two where kids. She remembers when you played Pokemon with her and she absolutely  crushed you. That time when you went camping and you played water balloons and made s'mores. She remembers the time you let her paint your nails bright pink.

I guess that knocks out questions 1, 2, 3, 4. But there is one question you haven't answered:

Why?

-sincerely me

Day 7

Dear Conner Murphy,

I finally worked up the guts to read your suicide note.

This is what it said:

Dear Evan Hansen,

You have been the light of my life. I love you so much and I know you probably hate me and don't return the feelings . I love you. I love how you love trees. It's adorable tree boy. So here I am next to a tree with a bottle of pills in my hand. I love you tell Zoe I love her too.

- Conner Murphy

I love you too and I hate every second that I am not with you. So here I am at the top of a tree. If you havent caught on yet this is my last letter. From now on I will be talking to you in person

-sincerely me

Hello Conner Murphy.