Hold Me Tight (Kim Namjoon x Reader)

Chapter 27

"How is she?" Namjoon asked. Like he promised last night, he was back the next morning. Lisa let him in hesitantly, and brewed him a cup of coffee.

"She cried a lot, and fell asleep on the couch. I carried her in bed."

"Wow, you carried her by yourself?"

"I box." Lisa answered confidently, "So if you ever lay a hand on her, I'll break it." Namjoon raised his arms in defeat. He laughed nervously, but the petite girl in front of him didn't laugh. "You shouldn't have done that last night." she continued, "I mean, it could have been done a different way, but I'm glad you found out before the wedding."

"I know. I wish I could have been there for her."

"You could have, right from the very beginning, you didn't have to leave her."

"I know. And I don't plan on doing that anymore."

"Do you know what she said last night? She asked 'Am I so hard to love?' That broke my heart. She deserved so much better. And now I have to reject Jungkook's offer to move in with him. I can't possibly leave her like this."

"Please don't let me hold you back." They both turned to see you standing outside the kitchen. Namjoon got up, shocked. As he should since you looked absolutely terrible. Your hair was tangled, the dark circles under your eyes amplified, your lips chapped.

"Unnie-"

"No, Lisa. You should move in with Jungkook. Please. I can't have anymore people do things they don't want for my sake. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I have to put you through that."

Lisa walked over to you and gave you a tight hug, she was also crying. "Unnie, I love you. I need you to be okay."

"I will be okay. Because there is no point of being sad."

"You shouldn't bottle up your emotions. It's okay to be sad." she said, patting your back.

"I know. But really," you pulled back from the hug, "you should move in with Jungkook. It's time that you grow up and be with your boyfriend." You smiled. It will be hard to be on your own, but Lisa deserves her happiness with the person she loves.

"Unnie, are you sure?"

"Yes, sweetie. Go call Jungkook."

"Okay! I've already began packing, so I should be out in 2 days." she excited say, all you did was nod. Then she went back to her room to get ready for work. Namjoon was still standing by the table, you took a seat.

"How are you doing?"

"Do you remember when I was taken, both times, and I was electrocuted and on the verge of death?" He nodded, not knowing where the conversation will lead. "Well I rather experience that a thousand times than to go through what happened last night." You gave him a weak smile, trying to not cry.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have acted so rash."

"It doesn't matter, the outcome would have been the same. You can't change the fact that he cheated. And I can't change the fact that he was right, no matter how much I tell myself it's not."

"Y/N, I'll always be here for you." he said, putting his hand on top of yours. You didn't move it away. Maybe because you were physically tired, or you were tired of lying to yourself.

"It was my fault, everything. I should have been better."

"No, no, Y/N." Namjoon got up and went to your side. He knelt down to look up at your face. "Don't you blame yourself for this. He was an asshole for hurting you."

"Only because I hurt him first. I didn't give him all of me."

"You shouldn't have to give him all of you if you didn't feel comfortable."

"But that's the problem. I was going to marry him. I should have been comfortable. If I was ever going to give myself to anyone, it should have been him. But I hesitated. Why?"

"Because you don't love him, Y/N."

"What?"

"You didn't love him. You thought that by being with him, you would forget me. And it worked for awhile."

"Stop."

"But you realized the truth, and that is you still love me. Deep down, you still want to be with me as much as I want to be with you."

"But you don't want to be with me."

"I do, of course I do. That's what I've been trying to tell you! I made a mistake, I shouldn't have let us be friends. That's why I came to the city."

"But you..." you got up, pushing his hands away, "you had sex with that girl and dismissed me out of your life just like that!" He tried to hold you, but you struggled.

"Nothing happened between us, I swear."

"She wore your shirt, called you babe, and had her hands all over you. And you can say that nothing happened?"
"I can explain if you would just let me. I was drunk, and she followed me back to the apartment and nothing happened. I swear."

"I don't know what to believe anymore. I don't know who to trust." you began crying silently.

"You can trust me." he approached.

"Would you trust yourself?" he stopped in his track. "Would you trust yourself with my heart? No, right? I think when you can say yes, that's when we should have this conversation. I think you should go now. I'm gonna help Lisa pack."

Namjoon left for work, the whole time, thinking about how he can show you his feelings for you. They're real, and they are strong. He just has to prove it.