The Trouble with Loving a Milkovich Part 4

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A commotion comes from outside our bedroom. Collin finishes the line and looks to the door. "This house has got to be the loudest fucking house...ever..." his sentence drags as his head falls into his chest. Grabbing the mirror from him, I dump a little coke on it, snort it up, then place the mirror back on the bed. "I'll see what's going on," I offer, pulling on his flannel. Outside the room, cigarette smoke hangs heavily in the air. Hookers stay huddled up around the table. Mandy is bounding down the hallway, yielding a hammer. "I was gone TEN FUCKING MINUTES!!" She screams. I turn to Mickey, but he just puts his hands in the air. A door slams and Mandy disappears. Pulling out his cell phone, Mickey makes a call. "Yo, its Mickey; in or out?" He asks the recipient of the phone call. Shaking my head, I walk over to the table and take a cigarette from an open pack in the center. "What the fuck happened?" I ask Mickey. Mickey hangs up the phone and shrugs. "Kenyatta and a hooker, I guess," he says, rubbing the back of his head. Snorting, I glance over the prostitutes sitting at the table. Svetlana blows her smoke my way. "Be happy it's not your husband," she sneers. A short bark of a laugh leaves my mouth. "You obviously don't know my husband, sweetheart," I say, putting out the cigarette on the table. "Men are men," she shoots Mickey a Look. Ignoring her, he picks up a beer, takes a swig, and burps. "Nah, Jagger's right; Collin's not...normal," he hands his beer to me. Taking it, I grin to myself. Unimpressed, Svetlana just takes another drag of her cigarette. Taking it from her, I take a drag, blow it out and tell her , "Its bad for the baby." Winking, I hand Mickey back his beer and head into the bedroom.

I'm counting down the till at work when Mickey comes in. Collin pops his head from around the vodka display. "Oh," he says, noting his brother. "The fuck you expecting, Queen of England?" Mickey jokes, taking his scarf off from around his neck. "A customer, actually," Collin answers, straightening up the bottles. Smirking, I continue to count the register. Mickey saunters over to the counter. "You guys still moving weight from outta here?" he asks me. Peering up at him, I roll my eyes. "You wearing a wire?" I crack. "That shits not funny," Mickey says, placing a flyer on the counter. Finally looking up from the money in my hand, I ask him what he wants. "Was wondering if you two couldnt do a little advertising for me," he asks, pulling a cigarette out. Hearing this, Collin walks over to the counter. "Advertise what?" He takes the flyer from off the counter. "Rub and tug?" Confusion taints his words. Holding back my grin, I shoot Mickey a quick glance and see him doing the same. "What?" Collin asks, looking between us. "Nothing, man," Mickey shakes his head, but I just grin even harder. Exasperated, he tosses the flyer down and walks over to the whiskey aisle. "Babe! Oh babe, come on!" I yell down the aisle for him. Collin flips me off. Glaring at my Mickey, I motion for him to say something. Rolling his eyes, he calls down the aisle to his brother. "Hey, look, it's a good thing! Jagger was just telling Svetlana how she never has to worry about you doing some stupid shit like Kenyatta did." Collin barely shifts his head in our direction. Clearing my throat, I tell him to come back. Irritated, he obliges. Once he gets to the counter, he points to the both of us. "If you two are trynna say I'm some type of faggot just cause I dont get off on skanks or-" Perplexed, I hold up my hand to cut him off. "Woahhh, what the fuck? Nto at all what we're getting at," I say, shooting Mick another glance. Chiming in, he adds, "Dude. Chill. All we're saying is you're a decent fucking guy, okay. It's a compliment." At this, Collin loosens his shoulders, but his face remains hard. Shaking his head, he wipes his nose. "I know people think I'm soft," he starts. Taken aback, we let him finish. "I married into the Mafia, I don't fuck everyone on sight, I've been with the same bitch since middle school; I get it. But fuck that shit, man; you don't get to choose who you fall in love." A warmth spreads from the bottom of my heart and spreads to my eyes. Wiping the tear quickly, I lean over the counter and pull Collin in for a kiss. He is receptive and allows me this display of affection. Mickey seems to have been struck by the sentiment too. Collin, noticing, turns to him and says, "Maybe youd be happy, too, if you allowed yourself that freedom." Having made his point, he walks to the back of the store and closes the door behind him. Turning to me, Mickey asks, "Did you fucking tell-" but I shake my head no before he can finish. Watching after the man that I married, I say, "He just knows something the rest of us seem to struggle with on the Southside; how to love and be loved." Feeling vulnerable, I turn to Mickey and crack, "That or the drugs are making him sentimental." Mickey laughs at this and tells me we better not be back on the shit. Leaving his fliers, he turns and leaves the store. Hearing the car the arrived in turn its engine over, i pull a baggie from under the counter, take some of the powder under my fingernail and sniff. Getting up from the till, I head to the back room, where I see Collin organizing our last shipment. "You mean what you said back there?" I ask. Focusing on the bottles in his hand, he gives me a short nod. "I don't deserve you," I confess, leaning against the doorframe. Pausing, he looks over his shoulder at me. "You're right; you deserve better. But here i am, still trying to be all that i know you need." Wiping the tears from my face, I cradle myself in my arms. Putting down the bottle of Jameson in his hand, he comes over and envelops me in a hug. "Just because your mom treated you like shit doesnt mean that's what you deserve; way I see it, the one person who's suppose to love you the most fucking didn't, and it's my job to make that right. You do the same for me, you just don't it. But when I hold you, and you're near my heart, it feels like this is where I'm supposed to be. You've always felt like-"
"Home."