Stray Kids One-Shots (BxB, BxG)

My Sunshine (ChanLix)

Pairing: Chan x Felix
Genre: Angst
Warnings: This is really fuckin sad, prepare your tissues

Chan sat on the chair beside Felix's hospital bed, the younger Australian breathing in and out slowly, but it seemed forced, like Felix was forcing himself to breathe.

The younger could feel himself slipping away with each breath he took, but he wasn't ready to go, not yet, not now when he's already so successful. But, then again, Felix had achieved more than he could possibly imagine, and he gained amazing friends and a loving boyfriend along the way, so maybe it would be okay if he just let go.

However, he still tried to fight, he still tried to hang onto life with an iron grip, even though he knew he most likely didn't have long left. At least the one he loved most was beside him.

"C-Chan" Felix croaked out, gently squeezing Chan's hand.

"Y-yeah Lix?" Chan stuttered out, his voice hoarse from crying.

"Sing to me, please?" Felix breathed out, his voice unnaturally quiet.

Chan nodded, coughing as he cleared his throat before he started to sing softly.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey, you'll never know dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away" Chan sung softly, taking a deep breath before continuing.

Felix smiled softly, even though he knew he was going to die. He felt his heartbeat slowing, and Chan's voice was slowly fading out. Felix tried to keep his eyes open, to listen just a little longer, but eventually Felix had succumbed to the grip of death.

His gentle grip on Chan's hand loosened until it fell limp off the bed. The resounding flat line sound echoed throughout the hospital room, and as Chan sung that last 'please don't take my sunshine away', Felix was gone.

His sunshine was gone.

Chan was numb as the doctor rushed in and shooed Chan out of the room as they tried to revive the young Australian, but Chan had a feeling that it wouldn't do any good.

Sure enough, just two minutes later, a nurse came out with a sad look on her face.

"I'm sorry but...Lee Felix has unfortunately passed away. We were unable to revive him" the nurse bowed her head respectfully as she walked away from the grieving boys. Jisung had collapsed onto his knees, sobbing loudly, the sound heartbreaking. Minho had his arms wrapped around the sobbing Jisung, letting some of his own tears fall.

Woojin held onto a shaking Chan, the younger too numb to even allow himself to cry. Honestly, it was still sinking in for him because his mind simply couldn't wrap around the fact that his lover was dead, that he'd never get to hear his laugh or see his smile or count his cute little freckles that adorned his face ever again.

"You were my sunshine, my only sunshine, you made me happy when skies were grey, you'll never know dear, how much I loved you, now you're gone so far from me" Chan sung quietly, and that's when the reality of the situation came crashing down.

Chan held onto Woojin tightly as he cried, the sound so gut wrenching that Jisung had stopped crying just to stand up and envelop his leader in a hug...

:::

Time skip! 5 years later...

Stray kids were getting ready for what could very well be the biggest concert of their entire career, but it was also held on the most emotional day of the year. That day, five years ago, was the day lead dancer and lead rapper of Stray Kids, Lee Felix, passed away at just 18 years of age.

Chan couldn't deny that he still missed Felix, that he still dreamed of that beautiful freckled face and that angelic laughter he used to hear so often and he could still feel the ghostly touch of Felix's lips against his own.

Chan sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror, staring deep into his own eyes. He couldn't lie, he was a bit broken and barely ever talked to STAY's online since that day, but they understood. He'd probably never heal from his broken heart...

"Alright, let's go and perform at our best" Woojin spoke encouragingly, even though the circumstances were less than uplifting.

Chan had a plan though, but it was a plan that would probably end in Chan breaking down into tears. It was the last song he sang to Felix before he died, and even though the lyrics didn't quite fit to the situation, it would be enough.

And, of course, after the last song of the night, Chan took his place on a chair as Woojin walked out with a guitar. They'd warned the fans that this was happening beforehand, and as Chan scanned the crowd, he could see STAY's holding signs with Felix's name on them. Chan smiled softly as Woojin started to play, and he swayed side to side in time with the beat. Then, he brought the microphone up to his lips and started to sing.

"The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I bowed my head and I cried"

Chan could feel himself tearing up, and he let a few tears slip, but he wouldn't allow himself to let out the sob that threatened to spill out from his throat.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

I'll always love you and make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me and love another
You'll regret it all some day:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

You told me once, dear, you really loved me
And no one else could come between
But now you've left me and love another;
You have shattered all of my dreams:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me
When I awake my poor heart pains
So when you come back and make me happy
I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away" Chan finished singing, staring out into the crowd.

For a moment, Chan swore he saw Felix's smiling face, and he seemed proud. That's when Chan broke, he finally let out the sob that he tried so hard to swallow back, a hand over his mouth as he let out a small sob. Woojin put the guitar down, reaching a hand over to rub Chan's back comfortingly. Chan breathed in deeply, heaving a sigh before bringing the mic up to his lips once again, leaning his head up to look up at the ceiling.

"I hope you're at peace, wherever you are. It must be nice, up there in heaven. I love you, and I miss you, we all miss you Lix" Chan spoke with a heavy heart.

'Goodbye Lee Felix. I hope we're reunited again one day' was Chan's final thought as he and Woojin left the stage.

That night, Chan had no dreams of Felix, and finally, Chan could let go of the memory of his once lover that he held onto for five years. What was once 9 was now 8, but that was okay...

Because in Chan's heart, it would always be 9 or nothing...

I'm tearing up again, Jisoos Christ-this really is sad fuck sake-I read it back and fixed some spelling mistakes, and I mayhaps read the entire thing back and I nearly cried again-