CHOKING ON FLOWERS ; phan

5

THE DAY AFTER ; 2008

Phil wakes up when lights streams through the partly closed blinds, the sun is pouring right into his eyes and he had to squint to see the clock, 9:12 am. The older boy lets out a long sigh, laying back down on his back, the boy beside him stirs but doesn't wake. Phil can't shut his mind off, he keeps hearing Daniel's voice in his ears that night at the cemetery only a few short years ago. He wish he could go back to before that night, when Dan would come over and Phil would bend him over his couch when his parents were out. He wish he could go back to before last night, before PJ Liguori, back when Dan loved him, not PJ. Phil knew Dan loved him, he knew because all of the times Phil would walk Dan home and the brunet would pull them into an alleyway just to sneak a kiss, he knew because of all of the 4 am texts when Dan couldn't sleep. You can't fake that, you can't just say at doesn't matter. Why does Dan want to erase the idea of loving Phil Lester out of his head? Why is he with PJ? Why did he kiss Phil one night then the next day he's PJ's boyfriend?

None of this made sense and Phil's head was heavier than rocks. The bed dipped when he got off it, looking back down at Dan and his stupid freckled face. He would still be the love of Phil's life, even if he did kill his parents, because yet again so did Phil. And yet again, Phil had two years to get over the idea of Daniel Howell, he knew what was going to happen. So why wasn't he scared? Phil padded into the bathroom, glancing at the bathtub and immediately feeling the acid in his stomach churn, making it's way up Phil's throat and out of his mouth. He quickly made it to the toilet, throwing up anything left of his common sense and possibly sanity. He didn't hear Dan walk down the hallway and stop in the middle of the doorway until he spoke up.

"Phil?" He asked, the older boy looking up and wiping his mouth, flushing the toilet. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." He mumbled, washing his mouth out with water and washing his hands. He couldn't help but stare at the tub. The brunet grabbed Phil by the wrist, shutting off the sink and leading Phil back to his room, falling onto the bed and dragging Phil down also.

"Dan- we can't." Phil stopped himself as his knees hit the mattress. He wanted to look down at Dan on his bed, not after sad shower sex and murder. He wanted to watch a tired Dan wonder into his kitchen and sloppily make coffee, not an awkward conversation over a cold bowl of oatmeal because Dan doesn't know what to say after he cheats on his boyfriend.

"Phillll." Dan whined, tugging Phil's wrist.

"Dan, no." The older boy tugged his wrist free and straightening himself. "You have a boyfriend."

"I thought you wanted me." Dan pouted, his bottom lip slipping out of his mouth and glimmering against the soft stream of light. 

"Baby, I do but-"

"Then come here." Dan leaned up and grabbed Phil by the shirt, pulling the older boy on top of himself, burying his head into Phil's chest. 

"Fuck," Phil cursed. "I'm not supposed to love you." Phil mumbled into Dan's hair, his hands resting on either sides of Dan's head to keep himself up.

.

.

.

Phil watched from afar in the cafeteria as Dan chatted with none other than Mr. Liguori. Phil knew the pair hadn't done so much as kiss on the cheek, he knew because of the way PJ was always so reluctant to even touch Daniel. Phil watched as Dan placed his hand on PJ's knee, his lips moving but his voice being over taken by the noise of the lunch room, Phil could have barked out a laugh when he watched as PJ took Daniel's hand and held it on the table, openly. 

As soon as the little brunet saw PJ at school after Phil dropped them off, he ran up to the boy and planted a big fat kiss on his mouth, the whole hallway witnessed it. After murdering his parents, Dan was free to do anything, he explained the whole plan to Phil on the ride to school. He told Phil about how he had filed his mother's name for unemployment from the government, monthly checks would come in and supply Dan with whatever money he needed. He made sure he had all of the PIN codes for both of his parents credit cards and bank passwords, he had called into his father's work the night before and said that his dad had been in an accident- his job was more than happy to put him on paid leave. The boy was a little devil and had everything planned out to the last detail, after a couple months of the death of his parents, he's going to call the police and say how his mother ran off after an argument with his abusive father and neither of them returned. He even had a plan to wreck his dad's car and abandon it on the side of road, leaving snippets of his mothers hair he had cut from her scalp himself. The brunet was going to have everyone wrapped around his wicked finger, including Phil. 

A figure stood in front of Phil's line of vision, snapping him out of his thoughts, the raven headed boy looked up to meet the eyes of Chris Kendall, PJ's former best friend. He had been quickly tossed aside after the couple got together. Phil knew exactly how Chris felt.

"Kendall." Phil nodded, acknowledging his presence.

"Can we meet at the cemetery tonight? I really need a smoke." 

"Yeah." Phil nodded. When Phil had no where else to go and too much to drink, Chris was always there to pat him on the back and tell him it was going to be okay. Phil knew it wasn't going to be okay, but he listened anyways. Just like how Chris knew nothing good was going to come out of smoking with Phil, but the older boy was always there with the offer.