Broken and Bruised-Kian Lawley/O2L

Chapter 6

I sit down on the couch and the boys all sit down. Ricky and Kian sit next to me and all the others crowd around me. They all watch me while Ricky goes to get all of the pills from around the house. I curl up into a ball and wait for the yelling to begin.

"I am not going to yell but we need to talk." Ricky says.

"Ok" I say.

"Why did you do it?" He asks.

"Because" I say silently.

"Because why?" He says pissed.

"Because" I say.

"That isn't a fucking answer" He shouts.

"You sure you want to know?" I sigh.

"Yes" Ricky cries.

"Because every day I get up and pretend I am ok and that nothing is wrong. I do that so I don't 'seek attention" So that no one knows how I really feel. I'm to scared to say that I need help so I hide behind a smile. I am just tired of crying, yelling, being sad, pretending, and so much more. I tried to be myself but everyone hated that. I am called ugly things every day on twitter and I didn't know why everyone hated me. But no I understand cause I hate myself to. I don't see a reason to talk or breath anymore." I sigh.

I look at the boys faces and I break down. I can't believe I tried to commit suicide and I didn't even think about these boys. Imagine how broke they would be and how much they would hate them selves for not realizing it.

"It's ok" Ricky says holding me.

"No it's not. I'm still alive."

I shake from his grip and run upstairs. I slam the door and I can hear someone coming up the steps.

"Laura open this door right now" Kian yells.

I unlock the door and race to my bed. I curl up into a ball when the door flies open. Kian stands there in sweats and a hoodie. He looks as if he hasn't taken a shower in days. The bags under his eyes are a dark color. His eyes are a slight shade of red and his hands still are shaking.

"Why the hell would you ever do that to Ricky?" He yells shutting the door.

"I don't know ok" I say hanging my head.

"Don't fucking do it again. Ricky wouldn't be ok." He shouts.

"Ricky or you?" I say looking up at him.

"What are you talking about?" He says.

"I heard what you said to me in coma" I sigh.

"I was.. That wasn't me" He say.

"Kian I can clearly remember your voice" I say.

"I..I don't know" He say.

I stand up and walk over to him. He stares at me and I don't dare to break eye contact with him. I wrap my arms around his neck and he gently sets his arms on my hips. I run my fingers through his hair.

"Does this help remember?" I ask.

I pull my lips to his and gently kiss them. Before long he grabs at my waist pulling me closer to his body. The kiss makes me feel like I am loved. I pull away and look into his eyes.

"That helped a lot" He smiles.