Posted: 22/11/18
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I sit at my dinner table eating saltfish, with a side of rice and peas, oxtail gravy to top it off.
A family friend on my mamas side owns a West Indian grocery store that was passed down to her from my Granpapi. My mom buys most of our food from there. A little taste of home she constantly says whimsically.
"Ma. Did Kenndrah tell you she has a boyfriend?" Devon says at the dinner table trying to stir up trouble.
She looks at me and says it all with one look
"Kenndrah?"
I seethe shooting Devon a withering glare.
"He's lying. I was just speaking to one of the people from my group project. It's no big deal" I shrug impassively.
"Hmm. Ok den. Whatever you say chil. Not like it's the woman who put you into this worlds business at all." My Mama scoffs, her islander accent coming through.
"Oh, Mama, while we're on the topic of lying did you know that a certain boy at this table is attending a party this Friday" I snitch.
I mean, I would feel bad but, Devon started it.
"May I be excused?" I ask while giving Devon a smirk.
While he glares right back- no make that ten-fold the amount I was before.
My mom tells me to clear my plate first and after I'm done I head up to my room hearing her shouting at him from up the stairs.
"So you tink you can lie to yah muda. I raised yah, took care of yah and you repay me by lying to me. My ungrateful chil. Where's me belt?..."
Hey! Snitches get stitches, and he's gonna need a whole lotta them after mammas done with him, I chuckle to myself.
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I stare at my posters on my wall blankly in discontentment. That's all I currently feel. I'm having one of my moments again a moment where I ask myself am I good enough? Tears are welling up in my eyes ready to spill.
It's 7:00 pm on a Tuesday night and I feel like complete and utter crap. I'm currently sitting on my bed with BB in my lap as I pet her.
While most teens would have probably hung out with their friends, I was at home by myself evading my homework all freakin night. Leon's words process in my mind, but, if they were true, then why don't I have friends?
I hear my phone ding and I pick it up thinking it's Leon. The brightness of my phone-being a stark contrast to my room- partially blinds me. I put the brightness on my phone down and read the text.
Diego: Hey, it's Diego. I'm texting to see if you're alright after getting knocked in the head today.
Wow, I think to myself. This is oddly shocking and surprising
Kenndrah: Yeah I'm fine. Just a small headache now.
Diego: Well. Sorry to hear about that. I hope you feel better soon. I'm sending you good luck.
Kenndrah: Thanks. Goodnight ;)
I stare at my screen in mock horror. Did I really just send a text with a winky face to Diego? Why would I do that, I don't know him well enough to send winking emoticons. Ugh, I groan into my hands. I'm so stupid. *ding* I look down at my phone again and calm down after seeing his response.
Diego: Goodnight ; ) XD
Hmm, guess my response wasn't so bad after all.
You know what, I should start on my homework now, before I forget to. I dab at the Unshed tears welled up in my eyes and open up my textbook.
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It's now 8:33 pm and I've finally finished all of my homework. Just as I flop down on my bed I hear *Ring*
I look at my phone seeing an incoming call from Leon and I quickly try to steady my shaky voice. Wasn't he supposed to text, not call?
Kenndrah: Hello?
I say sounding like a rooster.
Leon: Hey, it's Leon! I've been looking at places for you to work and I've come up with 5 places based on what I think would suit your nature. I have a list, one sec... ok let's see.
We've got petos pizzería (dishwasher), Clara's Bakery and Co (Baker), working at a mail office, Symphoniques music store and a petting zoo.
Kenndrah: Thank you so much Leon. No one but, my families ever gone so out of their way for me like this before.
Leon: kenndrah, like I told you before, you deserve nice things happening to you in life.
I hear a male shout on his end before Leon says
Leon: Sorry my dad just called me downstairs. Can I meet you at school tomorrow before period one?
Kenndrah: yeah that'd be perfect. I-I mean fine. That'd be fine. Meet you at the front entrance at 8:00 am tomorrow?
Leon: yeah that's perfect. Goodnight. Sleep tight.
Kenndrah: Goodnight. See you later- or tomorrow I mean- yeah ok Umm bye then.
I quickly hang up the phone cheeks burning. Maybe today wasn't so bad after all I think to myself as I pull up my comforter and snuggle in bed with BB.
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"Hey girl!" Yumi expresses gleefully as she treads up the steps to the main entrance.
"Hey, Yumi"
"What are you doing here so early?" She asks me.
"I'm meeting Leon here before school starts."
"Oh." She tells me sounding a tad bit ticked off "well I'm here for photography club. But, I could ditch to stay here with you until Leon comes." She suggests
"Don't be silly. I don't want you to miss your club because of me." I reassure her or at least I think I do
"Well If your sure then. Bye." She snaps, Heading off, not giving me a chance to say bye back.
I watch her walk off. Wondering why she's in such a mood this morning. Would it be rude If I assumed she's on her period?
"Boo!" a deep voice shouts as they shake me.
"Ahh" I scream and turn around kneeing them in the crotch.
I hear an equally load groan as I realized I've kneed Leon in the nuts.
"Oh my...Leon... I'm so sorry...are you ok?" I ask biting my fingernail as he lowers himself to the ground in agony.
"C-Can I get you ice or anything?" I stammer out. Hehe ironic.
"No. I just...need a second."
After a few moments have passed he stands back up and says "Dang. You should try out for the girls karate team woman."
I smile grimly "I actually did take 2 classes when I was younger...Again I'm really really sorry, can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"
"I'm just messing with you Kenndrah. I'm fine now." He gives me a reassuring smile. "See. Same old Leon."
I awkwardly look away From him and instead look towards the ground "So, what now?"
"Well, we could head inside the lunchroom and chat for a little while before school starts. A little birdy told me They even hand out free breakfast." He suggests.
"Ok." I agree and we head inside.
"Hahaha. You're so silly." I find myself laughing out loud towards Leon's silly antics.
He'd just taken Kordells granola bar off his tray and flipped him off without him noticing.
"For you m'lady." He splits the granola bar in half and hands me the bigger piece.
"Thanks." I raise the granola bar in the air, "For this." I'm so giddy, in absolute contentment. Words can't even describe how happy I am in this moment. I've never felt this way before. I'm in pure bliss.
Leon gives me a charming smile before asking "You hear about the party this Friday?"
"Yeah. But, it doesn't matter. Not like I'm friends with any of the people there" I shrug.
"Well. How bout I go with you... as a friend?" I notice he scratches the back of his neck as he says this. Must be a nervous habit of his. Hmm.
"No. That's ok, parties aren't really my scene."
"Are you sure your'e even black?" Kordell chides me from across the table. We'd bumped into him on the way to the lunchroom and he decided to 'be the third wheel' as he called it.
I ponder over his words.
People I meet always automatically pin this image of me, especially people my age. They base it off of my appearance.
I'm not how people stereotype black people. I just don't fit their descriptions.
Yes my parents are islander immigrants from St.kitts and Dominica, and my skin may be a rich dark shade of brown.
But, this doesn't mean I know how to 'act ghetto' , The way most people assume black people do.
Peoples opinions don't particularly bother me... it's just I feel like I should be living a different narrative sometimes, you know?
I feel ashamed even thinking this but, Part of the reason I keep my hair up in braids is because, I'm embarrassed about how people will mock me because of how short my natural hair is, when I know I shouldn't be.
"Dude. That was totally insensitive and not needed. Apologize." Leon defends me.
"Stop being so over dramatic. You wouldn't understand. Your girlfriend gets exactly what I'm saying right?"
I just nod my head in agreement ignoring the girlfriend comment wanting the creeping tense atmosphere to go away
"W-we're not dating but,Yeah. Totally. Anyways I need to head to my locker or else I'm going to be late. Bye guys." I stand up and wave but, before I can walk away Leon stands up from the table and gives me a tight hug
"He's an idiot." He whispers
before sitting back down, pretending like it never happened.
"Bye. Have fun in your Next class. I'll find you at lunch."
I quickly scurry off out of the caf and to my locker in embarrassment.
Why'd he just do that? What Kordell said can't be true. Right? I mean we've just recently became sort of friends and I'm not anything to like. Frankly, I consider myself a loser. He can't like me. He doesn't even know me. At least...not the real me.
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YOU ARE READING
My Existence
Teen Fiction[On Hold] Kenndrah's life was never thought of as interesting . Nothing special. Nothing to envy. Her classmates ignored her. She receives average grades, and to top it all off she's been friendless all throughout Highschool. Now in G...
