Once and for All- Part Three Of The Conclusion To The United Series

Chapter Ten

Jason's POV:

I don't remember starting to cry while I was asleep.

But now I'm sobbing into Ivan's chest as his arms are wrapped around me, soothing me the best he can.

"It's okay, Jason. You're okay." Ivan whispers to me but it doesn't work. I frantically shake my head. I'm not okay, not after seeing that. I just sob into his chest again, tears freely streaming down my face.

Ivan pulls me back by my shoulders, looking utterly shocked and worried.

"Hey, Jason." He wipes away my tears with his thumbs but I just shake my head again and jump off the bed, backing away from him until my back hits the wall behind me. I want to get away from him. I want to get away from everyone and everything, but Ivan just follows me, his arms outstretched towards me.

"Jason, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you." Ivan tells me and I can't handle myself. I start shaking, my breathing so out of control it's hard to focus on one thing at all, but I'm just able to make out Ivan wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him and resting my head on his chest. I try to back away from him again, but he holds me even tighter.

"Jason, just listen. Listen." He orders me softly and I finally listen to him. I listen for his heartbeat, but it's faster than I've ever heard it. Now he's actually really terrified for me.

"It's okay, Jason. I'm here. I'm right here." Ivan whispers, giving me another kiss on my head. It's familiar, his kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull myself closer to him. He sighs in relief and sits on the bed again, sitting me down on his lap. He holds me tighter and lets me cry into his chest again.

"Shh, shh. You're okay. You're safe. You're safe with me." Ivan whispers soothingly, softly tracing his thumb across my cheek. After a few moments, I can take control of my breathing again and I don't feel as frantic as I did before.

I look up at Ivan, who smiles warmly down at me and wipes away my tears again but keeps his warm hand on my cheek.

"Why?" I croak, barely able to get one single word out.

"Why what?" Ivan asks me, now running his hand through my hair, like petting a cat.

"Why do you keep doing this? Calming me down when you could be...actually doing something you want to do?" I ask him. Ivan smiles at me and kisses my forehead again, a soft and tender kiss, warmer than any other he's given me.

"Cause I care about you, Jason, and I'm not letting anything happen to you. Nothing's going to happen to you on my watch." He replies, taking my hand in his. "And maybe I like being with you." He adds in and I can't help but smile at that.

"Maybe?" I joke and he chuckles.

"Alright, I like being with you. I like being next to you. So I guess this is technically doing something I want, but it'd be better with less hyperventilating." Ivan teases. I chuckle and think about that for a moment.

"Are you implying something, Ivan?" I ask, one of my eyebrows raised, and he shrugs.

"I'm probably implying that we should cuddle more." Ivan replies. I laugh and he seems to brighten at that. We're both silent for seconds.

"Want to cuddle?"

I laugh again, hugging Ivan tighter, and it's still pretty clear in my mind that I'm sitting on his lap. That's going to be seared in there for awhile, and I'm honestly not complaining. I want to remember this moment for the rest of my life.

Yep, you want to remember the day where Ivanick Shu-Ra literally asked you to cuddle with him after giving you like two kisses and you still didn't confess to him.

Gods I hate my negative thoughts so much.

"Come here." Ivan tells me, laying his back on the headboard of the bed and resting my body on his so my head rests on his chest. I turn on my side and Ivan doesn't even wince or flinch.

"Am I not hurting you right now?"

"Nah, you're like a little kitten."

I chuckle and Ivan wraps his arms around me again, giving me another kiss on my head.

TELL HIM.

I want to so badly. But what if this completely ruins our friendship? We're obviously a lot closer than other people, and if I tell him that I like him and he doesn't like me back...it'll destroy what we have.

And if he likes you back?

I bite my lip and look up at Ivan. His head is resting on the headboard behind him, his eyes closed and a faint smile on his lips. He looks so calm and peaceful, so annoyingly handsome.

You said he was hot, not handsome.

Shut up, brain.

...

Okay, fine. He's annoyingly hot.

But I really need to think right now. I'm still dating Piper, and if I break up with her just so I can be with Ivan...that's awful. I could never do that to her. Even if Ivan would make me really happy...

Yeah, he'd definitely make me happy. I wake up completely freaking out and Ivan is waiting for me, and within minutes I'm calm and...well, happy. I'll admit it, I'm happy in Ivan's arms right now.

The only thing that could make this better is a little kiss.

I can't, though. Piper. Think of Piper.

Piper isn't the one calming you down or making you feel like this. Piper isn't cuddling with you or staying behind just to help you if you start hyperventilating again. IF you start hyperventilating.

Ivan stayed behind in this room for maybe hours just to make sure I don't freak out, and there was a chance that I wouldn't have freaked out at all, and he would've stayed behind for nothing. He watched over me, he's taking care of me, and he's not even complaining. He even said it himself. He likes to be with me, and I like to be with him.

Just one kiss won't hurt.

"Ivan?"

"Yeah?"

I'm silent for what seems like minutes. Now's my chance.

"Thank you."

Gods. Dam it.

"Anytime." He replies, running his hand through my blond hair again.

Oh for schists sake, just KISS HIM ALREADY.

I don't even think. I sit upright and face Ivan, who smiles at me, a smile so warm it melts my heart.

I stare into his night black eyes for what seems like minutes until I finally come to my senses. Before my dumb brain can think Wow, this is a really stupid idea, I grab the collar of his black t-shirt. He looks shocked, but I don't care. I just pull him closer to me until we're finally close enough, and I kiss him.