Schizophrenic|| Sope

Chapter Six

They were in the office now. It was plain and covered with inspirational quotes and things to make the environment a little less depressing than it actually was. Yoongi sat in one of the squishy black chairs, his head down, staring at his lap pretty blankly. He couldn't believe Hoseok actually took him to the psychiatrist after all his protests and denial of the mental disease clouding into his brain. Hoseok insisted that he needed to go, on doctor's orders.

So, Yoongi eventually caved in and went, if only for a little reward afterward, if you get what I mean ;). And now here they sat, across a surface of piled papers from the other mentally unstable people in this world who were either forced to get help or actually believed something like this might work for them. As for Yoongi, he felt there were problems far bigger, too many others who needed more help than him. It was simply for Hoseok that he was here. He was worried about him, and Yoongi was starting to notice. Every time Hoseok even glanced at him, it was a look of pure caution, like he feared Yoongi in some way. He didn't really like being looked at like that.

"I think I know what you and the doctor have described to me," the therapist finally said, looking over at the couple. Hoseok sat up slightly, looking over at Yoongi who kept his head down, hat covering his eyes in case he needed to cry. He wasn't going to let his guard down today. Not even for a therapist, someone who was supposed to be helping him with how he felt inside. He didn't feel safe here. He felt investigated and watched. Like there were eyes on him from the walls around him, stalking him down and eating everything he was seeing, thinking, and saying. He was only here because he knew Hoseok wanted him to be, he kept reminding himself.

"What is it?" Hoseok asked, an anxious edge to the tone he used in his voice. He was worried since the moment they got here, and the therapist began to ask Yoongi a series of questions. All of the questions had been pretty dark and a few of Yoongi's responses perfectly matched up with the tone. He was on the edge of his seat when the therapist actually had a description of what was happening to Yoongi. Maybe he'd get his boyfriend back for good.

"Schizophrenia," the therapist replied, matter-of-fact. Her tone wasn't one of excitement or boredom, just that cold, professional in between that made Yoongi kind of happy, in a way. She didn't pity him. She didn't look down on him for being mentally ill. It was just another thing that happened, and he was no different than the next person who would step in this room and be prescribed with someone out of the ordinary. Something that made them 'special' as well.

"Schi- what's that?" Hoseok asked before Yoongi could do anything more. He was just confused, Yoongi observed. He wasn't showing pity either. Yet again, he never did. He only showed love and support for Yoongi, always. The only other things he got from him was lust and concern, and Yoongi was completely fine with that. It made him feel content, actually. His boyfriend wasn't a treat, wasn't with the people who were after him like the other in his classes were. He knew they were. Nothing would change his mind other than hard evidence that they weeent apart of these people, the ones who talked to him at night sometimes and mostly during the days.

"Well, it means 'split mind', meaning 'split from reality'-"

Hoseok glanced at Yoongi, memories flooding into his brain. When he heard the information, all he remembered was Yoongi, always laying on his back, zoned out on the ceiling above him, sometimes mouthing things to nothing. Not really even trying to talk to Hoseok, or anybody, really.

"Some patients may see things-"

Yoongi pointed across the street, insisting that a man was watching them, pointing at them with a sinister smile. Hoseok didn't see him, and he told Yoongi to stop trying to scare him. He knew he didn't see anything. Yoongi was just playing a joke on him, no matter how serious his tone seemed to be. Hoseok didn't care that Yoongi looked genuinely terrified, he knew it was all a prank, and Yoongi was just good at acting.

"Hear things-"

'They'. The voices Yoongi always claimed to be telling him things. The person in his class who happened to try to get his attention to mock him. It was all in Yoongi's head. He was hearing voices, and now Hoseok knew what was happening. He still didn't want to believe that his baby was going insane, going schizophrenic. It was only two symptoms anyway. Not his Yoongi. Never his Yoongi.

"And sometimes most dangerously, they have the growing fear that someone is out to get them. They would do anything to not be caught by this person-"

The slicing on Yoongi's arms. Going to the hospital with the biggest amount of struggle he'd ever gone through. It was all because Yoongi genuinely believed someone wanted to kill them. He was willing to leave, willing to slap Hoseok straight across his cheek because he had a fantasy in his head that people were coming for him. Hoseok thought he was insane before, but this doctor was starting to prove it to him.

"They usually don't care for their hygiene-"

Sometimes Yoongi would come to Hoseok's apartment smelling terrible, his hair covered in so much grease that it looked like he was trying to fry it. When he'd ask about the last time Yoongi showered, and he had to think about it, Hoseok knew something was wrong. His breath would smell so bad that Hoseok felt terrible for not kissing him, but he couldn't bring himself to do it or tell Yoongi to brush them.

"There's usually other things on their mind than the things we worry about. Especially when they have the paranoia of being followed or watched. That could last days, maybe even weeks. It usually comes in episodes, the intensity based on the state of the patients mind. There is no cure-" that sent a shiver down Hoseok's spine, "There is only handling. You may try pills such as anti-psychotics. Therapy, maybe. He may even have to go into a facility, if we have another attack like the other night."

Hoseok glanced at Yoongi's bandaged arms, which made him pull his sleeves down over his hands.

"He needs to learn how to cope in order to not have such intense reactions. How does that sound?" The therapist looked up from her papers. Hoseok nodded slightly, looking at Yoongi to see his response to everything she was saying.

"I know your stupid papers or something are supposed to be accurate, but I'm not fucking crazy," Yoongi's teeth were clenched, as well as his fists.

And in that moment, Hoseok knew. Yoongi had schizophrenia.