It's Complicated

Nine

I wasn't sure what had happened but Jaebeom climbed up the tree in front of my room and got in my room via the windows. I pulled him in.

"why don't you use the door?" I asked.

"nah, its more romantic this way" Jaebeom smirked and sneak kissed me on my cheeks.

"hey!" I touch my cheeks and push his chest away. "I wasn't ready for that!"

"I can sneak attack you whenever I want" he smirked.

"are you okay?" his little smirk turns into a frown. "about Jinyoung"

"I wasn't here to talk about him" he sighed. He took a sit on my bed and flopped himself on it. "hey, I was just wandering."

"yeah?" I asked as I sat down next to him.

"do you, know? About Jinyoung and Mark?" he asked. I startled. Yes, of course I know. But, should I tell him? He might be mad at me but whats the use of lying?

"I know." I said.

"so, what the point of him being mad at me when I don't know about his own relationship?" he said, still starring at the ceiling.

"I was the only one who knew about it. Since I am interested in men too" I said and he chuckles.

"any crushes?" he asked, looking and turning his body towards me. I blushed. I haven't tell him that I actually like him since like forever. I did told him that I like him too but not the 'always like you' part.

"why do you want to know?" I teased. He turned around and suddenly grab a pillow and put them behind his head, getting comfortable. "are, are you planning to stay the night?

"may i? not in the mood to go back home." He said while comforting himself on my bed. The sight of his torso on my bed were really is amusing, things that I never imagine happened. "well, since we are together, together. I kinda want to know" he said and I chuckles.

"for your information I am still nervous about this whole us being together thingie." Jaebeom suddenly sprung up from my bed and sit up straight,"why?!" he exclaimed.

"oh, Jaebeom you are so shallow. I've been in love with you since, 3 years ago. And the fact that you snatched away my confession moment was really something"

"you like me from 3 years ago? That long?"

I nodded. "when did you noticed you like me?"

"five years ago"

My eyes widen. 5 years ago like when im 10? 11? Wtf? So, he likes me first?

"didn't noticed it at first but, I come to realize how different I am when I'm with you and when I'm with the others. Its different, and my feelings aint just a big brother to you, its something else. I realized I'm too small to be in love but, at the age of 13 I realized it." He said ad I honestly couldn't even react to it. Is this for real?

This is too complicated to me.

I am still trying to process this new information on my brain before suddenly I felt two hands cupping my cheeks. I startled and Jaebeom back off slightly.

"I'm sorry, I was just waiting for so long-"

"Jaebeom" I said. I looked at his eyes, his bright shining brown eyes. "I love you. Like a lot" I confessed. He smiled and slowly cupped my cheeks.

"you can close your eyes if you want." He said.

Oh shit! This is it. This is the moment. I don't know if I should close my eyes but shit he is coming closer. He caressed my cheeks before slowly tilt his head. His eyes were open and mine were automatically close as he come closer.

He kissed me.

I can feel his thin lips on mine. It wasn't wet or anything, it was soft and sweet. So gentle. My first kiss was so gentle. He let go and I automatically open my eyes and there he was 1 inch closer to me. I know I was blushing hard. I know how red my face and ears are. He scanned my face and laughed.

"you are so red" he commented. "so cute"

He goes for a second round. He traced my lips making me open them up to allow him in. he wasn't forceful or anything, just very much gentle. No tongue action or whatever. I know he know how nervous I am that's why he is taking things slow, for now. I wrapped my arms on his broad shoulder and we got carried away with everything – not too much carried away.

***

We cuddled for the whole night, talking about what we have done wrong to not notice our feelings. We were smiling, laughing so happily, I hope I never involve Jinyoung and Mark in this.

"oh, and about Jinyoung, ill apologize tomorrow" he said suddenly. "I should've tell him and I understand why he didn't tell me about Mark."

"he was just scared you wouldn't accept them" I said in between his chest.

"I am scared too, in case he didn't like me touching his precious lil brother" he said, kissing the temple of my forehead.

"he was frustrated about you. I think he knows your feelings"

"yeah, but I am too dumb to realize. He sees everything in me huh" I nodded. Of course he does. But, he also don't know if his guts were true and the reason he doesn't want to ask Jaebeom, is he is afraid of the answer he will give and he doesn't want to hurt me. I dragged everyone in this mess, every single one of them.

"maybe, maybe I should've confess from the start." Jaebeom said, snapping me out of my little thoughts.

"maybe I should" I said making him chuckles. "maybe, I should be the one who tell you first" I said again and he gave me a soft smile. Slowly he reach out to hold my hand and kissed them.

"you know what? I am glad that we ended up this way. Maybe I just need to confront Jinyoung and everything will be fine." He said. "I'll protect us"

Us. Never have I ever thought of Jaebeom saying 'us' and referring to 'Youngjae and Jaebeom relationship' us. Never have I ever thought the body of Im Jaebeom will be laying down next to me on my queen size bed, looking deeply into my eyes and only focusing at me. Never have I ever thought we will hold hands and never have I ever thought I could feel his warmth on my palm like this. Everything about this night is so perfect, I would never have wanted time to turn back. Never. Ever.

***

Jaebeom went back home at 3 am in the morning without me even realizing it but, all we know we were cuddling the whole night and his warmth were still there surrounding my little body. I wake up smiling like I never smile before. My window were slightly open, making me think he probably left. I grab my phone which I put on my table next to my bed and swipe to unlock it. 7 messages from Im Jaebeom.

I went home at 3. Just to tell you. I hope you wake up alright!

Oh, see you at school!

I'll talk to Jinyoung tomorrow, for our sake.

And um, if you free after school, maybe we can go out?

Making it ourfirst date I believe?

If you want, meet me at my locker after school, or vice versa~

Oh before I forget, love you!

Love you. A simple 'love you' with a love emoji made me smile to my ears. How is that even possible? Now I'm grinning like an idiot, staring at the messages. I don't know what to reply him. I don't want to sound too excited and of course, not too bland either.

I just woke up and Jaebeom please close the window before exiting keke

And, yes. Lets have that first date ^^

I love you too~

I SAID IT. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH TOO! Oh god damnit my hands were trembling in excitement I might die. This is too much for me to handle. My heart was beating so fast I might have a heart attack!

I look at the clock and its already 6.30. I need to get ready!

At school, during recess we gathered at our usual place and there is only 5 of us. Mark, Jackson, Yugyeom, Bambam and me. Jinyoung and Jaebeom you asked? They settling things out.