DARE (Mature/18+) (Delena/Semi Fanfiction)

VI : My Beautiful, Entrancing Web

Selena's POV

I was simply too confused. I never meant to walk away like that, without saying a word. But the thoughts started to race even faster after she had planted her majestic lips on my forehead. She was cheating on Wen, and I never wanted to portray her in any way. She's my cousin, and Demi is just playing with her like a doll. She's bored of her, yet she hasn't broken up with her yet and for what? And she wanted to break up with her tomorrow, just for me? So she could be with me?

And did I want to be with her? Whatever happened, it was highly sadistic of her, she seemed to be enjoying my pain. She enjoyed hurting me. What kind of monster could be lying behind that beautiful face of hers? Was she really a psychopath? Did she have a troubled past? I didn't even want to think about her roots. The thought of being with her, having a relationship with her, it scared me yet excited me at the same time.

But be with her? Would that mean that I fall for girls? I had never even thought about my preference in sexuality. I always just thought the right person would come on my path, I was never really a chaser. And I don't mind falling for a girl, but now that I most certainly did, would that make me a lesbian? It was crazy how one woman could give me such an identity crisis.

I placed the closet back on its previous position after boarding up the weapon Demi had used to hit me. It wasn't just a cane anymore, to me it was the key to a very new view of everything. I got up and silently locked the door of my room. It was something I wouldn't normally do. The last time was really a few months ago. I quickly snatched all of my clothes off. I looked at my thighs. There they were, three red stripes on each leg. I could barely see them because she reached more towards the back. I couldn't believe she had made these. I quickly turned on my nightlight and grabbed a small mirror from my desk. I quickly turned my body clumsily, wearing nothing but a t-shirt and underpants, trying to get a better view on those stripes. I tapped them lightly, noticing that they still hurt a little. I bit my lips, observing them for a few more minutes. They frightened me, and at the same time, I loved them. No one could see these, I couldn't possibly show anyone.

I placed the mirror back in my desk, grabbing my notebook from another drawer. So many thoughts were roaming around my head, I had to put something down on paper. I sat back down on my bed, crossed my legs and clicked my pen open. A clear picture of Demi appeared in my head again, her fierce eyes. How she looked at me with a blank face before hitting me. What were her thoughts during what happened? I sighed, placing my head on my hand, leaning with my elbow on my knee.

I gave my heart, my body, my soul
She gave nothing but her attention, her patience, and her skills
I enjoyed her, as she enjoyed the night
She enjoyed me, as I enjoyed her treatment
As dark, as the endless sky was, so was the world we had created
We had created a world so wrong, full of sin
Yet it was the highlight in our lives, that very moment
I could feed off the scars she had left behind to remind me
She could feed off nothing but the memory of the fear in my eyes
And still, I do not understand why I loved it so much

They weren't poems, nor were they diary updates. Sometimes I had to let the beautiful English language clear my mind a bit. I clicked the pen again, biting my fingernails. Things seemed to make a bit more sense now, now that I had written it down. I went over a few pages from the past. One of the earliest was one that I avoided for quite a while. It was from three years back. 'I needed something, someone, who would enjoy fulfilling the purpose I cannot fulfill myself. Someone who can do the dare'. I read the lines a few times, before closing the notebook with a slam. I should go to sleep.