Take Me With You, I Wanna Feel Better

She's in your heart.

(Play the song)

.......

I was scared. Scared of someone who was my saviour. Scared of someone I love. Scared of someone who taught me that I should not be scared of anyone. Scared of someone who made me the happiest in a while. Scared of someone who I planned to give my whole to. Scared of my world. Scared of her. At this moment, I felt pity. I felt pity because I fall in love easily. Pity, because I was the one to blame. Pity, because she expected me to be her but not me. Here I was, just thinking, thinking and thinking, overthinking to be exact. I could still feel the pain from earlier. She held me like I was an animal, even animals are not treated like that. She held me so tight, it was like she was putting her sorrow into me to make me feel what she's been through. I missed her, or I just missed the happy her. She called me so many times, sent me several texts explaining but I was too hurt. I just could not stop the tears from falling. I took out my phone and looked at our pictures. I smiled while crying when her most dorky picture came up, her laughing. 'The most beautiful girl' I thought as I closed my eyes.

.......

I woke up to my phone ringing continuously without any break. I knew it would be Allisia and I was right. I could not bear the distance anymore so I decided to talk. I picked up the call after preparing for a debate.

"Ronny." She said while crying. I gulped.
"I-I'm sorry." She spoke again.
"For everything." Again.
"Please just-" she broke down and ended the call.

I could not handle it anymore. I picked my phone and stuff, leaving through the front door. I rushed through the crowd, not feeling anything. All I wanted was to kiss her and tell her that I was still hers and she was still mine. Not even a fucking high wave could get us back to the shore now, we were on our way to the moon, through the sea.

I rang the bell, panicking. After waiting for like 15 seconds, her mother opened the door.
"Hello Marissa. Is Allisia home?" I asked impatiently.
"No sweetie, she's been out since morning. We tried calling her but she won't pick up, though she sent a text saying she's okay."
"Oh, do you have any clue where she is?" I asked.
"When she's out till late night, she's always with Marcie." She formed a warm smile.
"Oh okay, Thank you!" I walked off the porch and sped up waving at her.

It took me some time to reach the graveyard but I found it. I was lost in it. Too many dead people, not really dead but alive. Their souls were still alive, I know. My mom still breathes up there. A smile formed on my face when I looked up at the sky. I searched everywhere for Allisia, left and right, back and forth. I found her!
I started following to where she was, slowly without making a noise. And then I tip toed.

I sat beside her, she did not notice me at first but then she heard my breaths and sat up. She looked a mess, like she had been crying and crying for hours. Her eyes held sadness, total grief, regret. Her hair presented sea waves yet waves that were not amazing but powerless. At this moment, I saw the girl with whom I had been in love for so many days. I saw the true her, and I'm going to love her even more now, regardless of what she had done to her and to me. I will make her alright. She's my girl after all.

We just eyed each other, we did not know what to say. We just looked each other in the faces, with thirst and hunger. Her kiss was all I wanted at this moment and so she wanted mine. I leaned in closing my eyes, reaching for her lips, not just some lips but a universe which is to be explored but it hides so many secrets that it's hard. It was finally my universe on hers. She could feel my pain and I could feel hers. She could see the true me and I could see the true her. She could taste me and I could taste her. She could explore as much as she wanted to and I could explore as much as I wanted to. The kiss was going on and on without any hesitation but we needed oxygen, oxygen to have another adventure in this universe once again. I parted our lips, having my palms still on her cheeks. I looked at her, and took her features in. 'The most beautiful girl' I thought again and again yet she still could not stop the tears flowing from her ocean eyes.

"Shush baby I'm here." I hugged her tightly.
"I-I'm sorry." Oh her voice, her amazing voice.
"I'm never stopping loving you even if you decide to throw me off a bridge. I. Am. Not. Leaving. You" I stated in a serious tone, still hugging her.
"I'm so sorry Ronny, I-" she broke down, if I was in her shoes I would have too.
"I'm not going Ally, you don't have to cry, look marcie's here, she will be sad because of you crying." I gestured towards the grave. My lips formed a smile on its own when I read the words Marcie (beanie) on it.
She kept weeping and sobbing, saying sorrys multiple times looking at the grave. I can't imagine losing Allisia like this, I would even kill myself.

"Baby, we need to go, it's late." I said to her in a low voice.
"If you want to leave, you can." She replied not looking at me.
"Look at me and say it to my face that you want me to leave." I challenged.
"I can't leave. Not right now." She replied under her breathe.
"Look at me." I said those words again and pulled her in for a kiss, a smooth passionate kiss.
"Beanie's not here, she's here in your heart." I pointed towards her chest. "She always wanted you to be happy, she said she will always love you but you're hurting her by hurting yourself Ally. She's safe up there but she wants you to be safe now. If you love her enough, you'll understand where she truly is." I finished.
She immediately got up, taking out a flower and putting it on the grave. She held my hand and oh her warm skin, I closed my eyes just for a moment to feel her touch. I smiled and started exiting the graveyard with her, she looked back one last time before looking at me, mouthing an 'I love you' and I mouthed it back.