Help Me Remember (COMPLETED)

Chapter 30

Hi @chiblinkz !

Chapter 30

Escape

My statement was met with silence on Zachary's part.

Then he breathed out a weary sigh, "One would think it's been a year when it's actually just been a week since you were out of the hospital."

That was true, even I was surprised by that observation. So much had happened in the last week. The memories, the people I was reacquainted with...

And the worst of my fears being realized within a week.

It took just a week for me to almost lose the child.

I had what? Twenty-nine more weeks to fear?

Suddenly shivering, I wrapped my arms around my midsection. Zach was quickly beside me, searching my face. He was already pushing me back to lie on the bed.

"You should rest," Zach was saying, his forehead creased. "We can talk about this another time. I'll get a nurse to check on your hand"

But I knew if we put this off another time, I may never be able to tell him anymore. What if I had a change of mind? If I forget my reasons now, I might never tell him everything.

He had tucked me under the covers and was already pulling away. I grabbed his arm and he looked back patiently.

"It's called Generalized Dissociative Amnesia," I told him. "It's not caused by physical injuries or sickness. The main cause seems to be... extreme emotional distress."

That was enough to stop him and he sat down on my side. "Extreme emotional distress? Mara said this?"

I nodded. "Apparently, I didn't fit into any other category of amnesia. Dissociative amnesia is the mind's coping mechanism to preserve a person's metal health. So my mind decided to forget... everything."

"General Dissociative Amnesia," Zach repeated for me.

I nodded again, "Mara said it shouldn't be something to worry about. Dissociative Amnesia doesn't last long and apparently my memories should come back shortly and completely. I actually read up a bit about it and what she'd said about my condition seems to match..."

I stopped, watching Zachary's reaction to me remembering completely. The idea didn't seem to bother him. He merely sat there, waiting patiently.

"But?" he asked quietly. "You said this was connected to... almost losing our child."

The fact that Zach was admitting to my almost miscarriage made things a little more in perspective. That it did almost happen. The child was in danger like Mara predicted. And that he continued to be in danger as long as I didn't remember everything.

"General Dissociative Amnesia doesn't say anything about the remembering part equating to physical pain... but every time I remembered in the last week, I would experience splitting headaches and when I couldn't take it anymore... I faint."

A muscle jumped in his jaw but Zach wasn't saying anything and honestly, I didn't know if there was anything appropriate to say at that information.

"My first memory happened in a dream, and I'm sure it was a memory. I woke up the next day with a splitting headache. The second time was in the car on the way to the party... I was with you that time—"

"So that's what happened then. That memory of Valerie in my office?" Zach broke in. his blue eyes were a storm cloaked in deceptive calm.

I smiled weakly, nodding. "And then that fiasco at the shopping mall with Larry. I fainted that time and we went to Mara the next day. That's when she guessed I was starting to remember... even speculating that the worse my memories were, the worse the pain that would come with it. And she warned me that it may even affect my pregnancy. She told me to stop looking for triggers. Stop trying to remember and just let them come back naturally."