CHANCES (Andrew Lincon Romance)

Chapter 19

Pandora box.....The fork in the road......Choosing one of three doors.......Do you go left or right.....Ignorance is bliss.... I think you get the point I'm trying to make here. Either way I had spent the last thirty minutes staring at my email with the mouse hovering over the delete icon. Sitting and staring at an email sent from Andrew.

Did I want to reopen that can of worm. Andrew had become a debilitating habit I couldn't walk away from. As if I were a smoker of thirty years trying to kick a habit but truthfully didn't want to quite. I knew I should just hit delete and mark him as a lesson learned and let him slip quietly into the past. Instead I found myself making excuses as to why I should open it.

So there I sat with only my computer for light in my room at one in the morning looking at computer scans of our airline tickets. While I had received the email over a week ago I had never opened it. Our flight was set to leave in four hours from gate twelve. Over and over I scrolled up and down the page reading the flight info.

If we hurried we would make it in time. I tapped the pen again and again against in a rhythmic patter against my desk. Reaching over I grabbed my cell and swiped my finger across the screen reading Andrews text again for the hundredth time.........I am in no way assuming that you are still coming. In fact I'm almost sure your not. Just in the case of briefest chances that you might come I have emailed you your flight info and my brother will be waiting at the airport.

"Mom what are you still doing up?" Nearly jumping out of my skin I turned to see my eldest daughter standing right beside me.

"Question is what are you doing up?" I asked trying to settle my beating heart.

By the time I realized she was reading the computer screen it was to late to cover it, " Andrew still wants us to come?" Leaning closer she squinted against the glare. "The flight leaves in four hours?"

I didn't know what to say so instead I just gave her an uncomfortable smile. With the softest of hands she pulled me in close and kissed the top of my head. "Remember mom the two worst words in the world are...what if." Turning she wandered back towards the door where she paused, "Good night mom. I love you."

Going against my better judgment I clicked on print, grabbed my suitcase from under my bed and went to get the girls. I couldn't believe I decided to go but I couldn't stop now because for sure I would change my mind. As it was right now i was fighting the urge to stay home. No stopping, no hesitating I drove to the airport and went straight to checkin. I was flush with anxiety, distrust and rattled nerves.

Taking a deep breath I pulled out my cell and texted Andrew........We are at the airport and about to board our plane. I have a few conditions before I go any further. Instantly he answered back asking what. The first is we don't talk about what happened or us. Especially since there is no us anymore. We talk enough to be civil but nothing more and nothing personal. I'm only coming because the girls want to go. Moments later he answered ok.

Second guessing myself the entire way I found myself sitting on a plane for nearly the next seven hours with only my thoughts rattling around in my head. By the time our wheels touched down in London I was such a mixture of emotions I was a basket case to say the least. I was angry, sad, defensive, and hurt all at the same time. Not to mention disappointed in myself for not being strong enough to walk away from Andrew. I had made up my mind and told him no. Yet here I was on a getting off a plane in London.

When we came through baggage claim I spotted Andrews brother right away. He gave us a smile and a wave as he came towards us. For once I was extremely happy the girls were chatter boxes. From the moment we grabbed our bags and all the way to Andrews place they asked endless questions about everything they saw. I'm sure Richard thought he was a tour guide but from the smile on his face he seemed to enjoy it.