this is why i have mental breakdowns | my life

The most uncomfortable lesson ever

so, this wednesday, a woman called mona came into our school to talk to specifically my year group about dun, dun, dun... SEX.

so i walk into form (morning registration, homeroom) and so when i get there my teacher is like"so someone's coming in to talk to you guys about something and i'm just gonna tell you now, it's about sex"

so like we're all like "oh okay..."

 then me and my aquaintance phoebe we're told to go to reception to meet her and "escort" her to our class. so we go and meet her and have the mos awkward conversation on the stairs EVER.

 so we get into the classroom and get started on this talk. so we start discussing sex and decide that it has three categories, romantic, reproductive and exotic. so this woman has a bag full of stuff and asks me to pull something out of it so i do and i pull out a bottle of OPENED strawberry flavoured lube.then my friend theresa, pulls out a pregnancy test and then our friend Ria pulls out a fucking THONG. 

so keep discussing it and then out of nowhere she's like "do you know that there's different kinds of sex?" 

and i'm like "oh crap, shit just got real" 

and we're all like "yeahhhhh" 

and she's like "ever head of anal, when the penis goes through the other hole?" and i'm in shock at this point like i know all about it but like, wow.

so we talk about anal and stuff and then she's like "ever head of oral?"

NOW THIS' WHEN I WAS DONE: so some girl was like "what's oral?"

and it was obvious she knew and inside i'm like "you fake fucks you know all about this!" 

and so anyway after this girl asks about oral, my friend Myer goes "well it's when you give HEAD" and my teacher omg she looked at Myer disgusted but didn't say anything.

then like five minutes later, Myer's like, "what's fingering?" just wanting the woman to explain so i join in and start asking things like "what are pornographic films (porn)?" and "what is an orgasm?" then my friend phoebe started asking about porn website categories and boners and omg...

this was the most uncomfortable lesson ever.