Tried For Error

I N T R O D U C T I O N

*Clears throat and awkwardly walks to the middle of the stage*

I did ask for a microphone but wattpad was being selfish and wouldn't give me one. Sooo... what's up my fellow earthlings! It is I, the great and powerful- alright let's just skip the cringy introductions, because honestly no one reads them anyways.

To start of this speech, I Googled ‘the perfect way to introduce yourself to fellow potatoes’ but you had to pay for it and I already used up all my money on actual potatoes, so I’m just going to make random stuff up.

*Sees mum in the audience* OMG, look mom! I made this, can we please frame it?

...

*cough*

Okay then, I'd like to start off by getting a few things straight.
     First of all, if you came here looking for intimidating, PG-rated scenes- you've got the wrong book, because we all know those things happening in a bedroom behind closed doors are all kinds of nasty and not interesting stuff. Like, at all. It's just your ordinary, boring stuff... VERY boring stuff.
     If you're disappointed, then you're a nasty lilttle potato.

Next up, forewords from my readers who already supported me in so many ways; I thank you all dearly :)

"I love how deep and rich Scarlett's character is. You made her feel so real with this realistic dialogue; doesn't seem fake at all :) I love it!!! Your stories are so imaginative" ~ DivanAWE

"This writing is just AMAZING! You put descriptions into words that I could never convey. It's very impressive. This writing is perfect. Not boring, not fake, very realistic and again... just amazing! I don't remember the last time I considered reading a book that is yet to be finished, but I honestly hope that you continue writing and this work deserves to be punlished... My words can't say enough, but I hope it motivates you to continue writing this beautiful, soon to be the "best book" on wattpad." ~ SonjaNell7

"This book is amazing. I love it." ~ HaroldTU

"Lol this is funny tbh xD I already love this book and I haven't even started reading... the actual book!" ~ DivanBooyens

"I'm hooked! Literally!" ~ cosietakim

I feel an unusual sensation- If it is not the need to poop unicorns and rainbows, then it must be GRATITUDE.
     Again, a thank you to all my readers... I appreciate every second of your life that you waste on my book.

Now, everyone is doing this so I'm going to do it too. HERE are some aesthetics for my characters that I think describes them the best. I don't have one for all of them since I couldn't think of someone suitable enough to match their similar personalities, but please let me know in the comments if you think there are celebrities good enough to be compared to my virtual potatoes ;)

S c a r l e t t  G o n z a l e z
Played by Scarlett Johansson

C a r o l i n e  C a r l i s l e
Played by Danielle Campbell

D o m i n i q u e  B l a c k w o o d
Played by Bella Thorne

Unfortunately I had to get rid of my instagram account so no stalking will be happening today. Damn it! #please.note.sarcasm.

Rule... I don't know what number we're on, but if anyone texts you any good jokes, could you please share them with me in the comments?
     I'm very lonely and have absolutely no friends so it would be nice to talk to you.

WARNING!!! There will be a lot of violence involved in this book so if you're one to get easily triggered by something like that, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS!!!
     I won't be able to help you since I don't know the number to 911. (Also, don't crap me out later about not giving a suitable warning relating to this situation, because I even used capital letters just for you guys.

Most important rule... No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or blah blah blah - you know the rest

Finally, If there are any questions at all, please do not raise your hand and ask me, because I'm going to pretend that I can't read.
     THAT or I just don't want to look stupid when I can't answer any of them.

On the bright side, you guys are all now official potatoes from the 'official potato community'

If you have gotten this far it means you either skipped it all or you actually read it and either way I thank you for choosing to read this book.

*does a little bow before leaving the stage* Bye mom!

P.s. This book is dedicated to my dad, Anthony Nell, with love.

Actually, dad doesn't read wattpad, so if someone doesn't tell him about this, he'll never know.

P.p.s. It's probably for the best that he doesn't find out about wattpad so let's keep this between us.