The Story Of My Life

At the middle of teenage..

I was in my own world it seemed. I was unattached from the outside world. My mother always worried about me, since I was a kid without father. I kept distance from strangers. I think what I did was, right.

A father is girl's first male friend and her first hero. I missed that part. I did not know the friendship of father and the warmth of his protection. I think it is important for a girl.

I missed my father. Days went in crying, but did not let anyone know. I always imagined my inner conscience as my father's voice guiding me in the right direction.

The place of Dad remained vacant. I knew father was like the roof over a house, protecting the family from all the dangers. I knew I had to act like my own father by being very careful.

I had no interaction with male friends of my age. I was in girls' school. I kinda avoided them even when I entered Co-ed school for 11 and 12. I was shy and too innocent and a bit childish too. I was reserved and hardly talked to them. Not myself, but my situation was responsible for this. I did not have the guts. Simply speaking, they were kinda aliens for me.

First I entered Bengal board school then after my results were out I went to a CBSE school. Both were Co-Ed.
This new school, I had to face problems for my admission even having good marks, cause I did not take the form at the right time. It became a matter of ego for someone. I had to wait for two years to prove that the school did not do any mistake by letting me in the school.

There were toppers from all major schools of my hometown. I got new friends, but kept distance from boys, except those who talked from their own. They had attitude, I too stayed with mine. Once in class 12, a guy wrote 'devil' on the back of my t-shirt, during my computer class, I and my friend were unaware of the event. Later, when I realized, I never sat in front of boys, but always on the last bench, to keep an eye on the guys. I knew who the devil was, but preferred not speaking up.

Maximum guys considered me as an alien, but had shown respect. I had very few friends among them.

Very good friends among girls I got. I had long conversation with them from my land line. I got my first mobile phone, where I played games for long hours. It was a kind of addiction.

I took up many tuitions but stayed with maths and chemistry finally. Board exams arrived, I was able to give the reply which I dreamt of, desperately wanted from the bottom of my heart.

I crossed the middle of my teenage when I entered and two years went here. I was once hospitalized during class 11, due to diarrhea and food poisoning, missed the practical exams. It was a challenge for me to pass the papers, with theory exams only and having zero in thirty marks practical.

I watched people buzy in relationships and it is quite normal at this age.

I on the other hand, remained unusual, and believed I really did not have the talent. I believed staying aloof and being engrossed in my duty was important. I was shy, even to speak up to them. I could not blame myself. I think my situation was responsible. My circumstances made me so, that I could not talk freely unless they did from own, I hardly spoke up.

I knew I had my talent in academics, there I gave my best. I dreamt of being a graduate from jadavpur, but did not study well cause had asansol at the back of my mind. I had to think for my home too. Though I knew I had to get through joint that year. Those two years decide your future, very crucial time to decide about career.

Even if someone observed me, I did not reciprocate. I stayed normal.

The two years went, school life came to an end. Facebook did become very famous by then. I wished to join the book after completing the twelves.

Maybe, by then I wanted to interact with the world virtually.

I was so shy then, that I could not even talk properly to my nursery friend. I had the feeling, that my friends had moved much ahead and I lagged back. I was right. I lacked the maturity and still was too childish in comparison to others.

I was in the competition, cleared with a good rank. I was eligible for B. Tech.

School life ended, was walking towards college life.