Finally the day came, when I stepped into the college. I felt like I was at the top of the world. My dream of childhood came true. Engineering the term itself seemed passionate to me.
First year went through with my new friends and facebook.
Facebook was new for me, talked to strangers, made new friends. Sharing status, posts, likes, comments, friend requests, mutual friends and viewing others profiles was very common. Though had no special friend, but it became like an addiction for me. I needed to plunge myself out. But couldn't. It was a worthless. Computer games were added to my addiction list.
I found no escapism. I tried I failed
I was carefree, laughed with my friends, had a really great time during my first year.In the mean time, my mother's health was ruining. I was dissolved in my dream of being an engineer. Though aware but not actively putting efforts to cure her health. Little did I knew soon I shall start reaping the results of my own actions which I had done knowingly or unknowingly, all through these years, to ruin her health.
I was about to soon reach a point where all academic scores, good results would look a waste. Marks and good results were my fantasies. But I did soon reach a point of super saturation. Cause I realized that every marks I gained, I ruined my mother's health a bit by bit. It was the result of her labour, hard work many times than mine. I always knew that whatever I was, was because of her. But did not feel maybe.
God brought me to the point of real test.
Second year changed many things. My mother caught a fever, and I gave a banned medicine to her. Apparently it seemed only the medicine affected her digestive system initially, but later realized it was not a one day journey.
There was an attempt by dacoits to enter our house. I was awake at around 2 pm which made us aware and saved us. They left when we started shouting from the very back of our house after trying to break a window.
I spent three months total sleepless.
It affected mine health too.
Whole day went in college, and the rest of the time in helping my mother cause she was very sick by then.
Facebook was at shutdown. The very laptop and broadband which was used for facebook, was now used for surfing.
My mother was sick, but in between that, we had our first solo tour. We went to Kamarpukur and Jayrambati. There I could sleep first time.
The atmosphere was extremely peaceful and serene. I was lost for a while in the world of peace and insisted to stay longer.
Soon returned on the fourth day.
The Maharaj who gave is the allotment told me to focus on my career.I came back. My mother's illness increased. Diagnosis started. It was liver problem which could be cured back. I was helpless. But I knew I had to win through it.
I had to just pass through the semesters.I started cooking, marketing and tried to all the activities of my home. I really wonder from where did I get so much then.
Morning I woke up did all the activities, attended college, came back went to the doctor. The dedication I had put for career these years, was now directed towards my real duty. My mother felt bad, cause she never imagined am doing all work.
I went to college just to attend my classes. Later from third year, I started bunking and staying at my home.
These three years, I hardly talked to any. I have no guilt for it. Among them those who had to be my friends, they later became. I believe friendship is also very special and it lies in your destiny who will be your friends and who will be not.
I was going through a tough phase. Nothing interested me, except travelling to Puri, with my mother. In four years, I went to Puri, four times.
I went on putting efforts to cure her and simultaneously studying to complete my degree.
I knew I had to complete it at any cost.
My health issues degraded but had no time for myself. Later I recovered.
Degree got completed. I became a graduate engineer. My mother seemed better but with new health issues.
I used to miss my father these years. But during these years, I realized and felt from within that it was my mother who did everything for me to make me a graduate.
I was angry at my father. I wished he would be there with us, then we did not have to see these days.
YOU ARE READING
The Story Of My Life
RandomAn attempt to write an autobiography It's a dream of many people to write about one's own life, hardly few do or gets the chance. It is not to impress or wait to see how many would read it, but for oneself.