Violet

26

"So, Violet, how have you been since our last session?"
"Good. My boyfriend finally has our bar up and running, my best friend has given up gambling, or trying to." I smile. Dr Felton was a wonderful therapist. Warm, welcoming and a good listener. Instead of note taking she uses her iPhone to record the audio of each session. Giving her more time to work with her clients. Sitting forward in her seat she rolls up the arms of her black shirt and clasps her hands together. Her neat black hair dangling down over her shoulders. Her warm, green eyes examining me with a friendly interest that didn't feel too invasive.
"And what about your voice?" She smiles. "How's Robin?"
Part of my therapy was to name the voice to humanise it so it was easier to deal with. Easier to set boundaries. "Robin." I pause. He came and went. The more therapy I had and the more feelings I expressed verbally rather than internally, the less he would appear. "Is doing good." I nod proudly. "It's taken a long time, and still will probably, but I think in time he won't be an issue anymore."
"That's really good news." She beams at me. Sitting back on the couch opposite and crossing her long thighs. "What about the nightmares?" She narrows her eyes curiously. Tapping her fingertip against her chin. "Last session you mentioned you'd had the same one but in different ways over the last month. Have you been using the techniques we discussed?"

The nightmares had been so violet, so bloody, I'd had no choice but to call a therapist. Seeing your boyfriends skin drip off his bones like wax would scare anyone. Not to mention flashbacks of what Billy had put us through. The countless beatings and sexual harassment had taken its toll. Night after night of waking up screaming, Alex shaking me awake. "I have."
"Are they helping, Violet?" She raised her brow. Skeptical that I was telling her the truth.
"They were." I paused and she raised both brows. Encouraging me to continue. Fidgeting I sat back in my seat. Gulping down the sudden build of saliva in my mouth. "I wake up, I count to five and do the breathing but it's still there. In front of my face. Standing behind Alex and so vivid that I still think I'm asleep." My voice cracks as tears threaten to spill from my crystal blue eyes.

"Hallucinations are not uncommon after a trauma, Violet. But they are just that. Hallucinations. They can't harm you in anyway. The best thing to do is close your eyes during your breathing. That way when you feel calm and collected whatever you see will not be there when they are open." Dr Felton sits forward again. Handing me over a tissue from across the table. Thanking her I blow my nose and wipe away the tears. Giving me a reassuring smile she say's, "In time this will all go away. But, for now, try to relax and get as much rest as you can and enjoy yourself. You're a young woman with a whole life in front of her. Don't let the past dictate how you live your present."

She has a point.

"Oh, lord." I mumble. Looking at my hands. Dr Felton tilts her head. "Violet?"
"Robin's awake." I say, getting to my feet to leave and reaching for my bag. Dr Felton joins me and smiles. "As far as I can tell with our sessions, Robin seems harmless. Just someone who enjoys pushing your buttons at inappropriate moments."
I like her. She's smart and hot.
"If you say so." I replied to both.

"Look, go home, take a bath and watch some Netflix. Don't stress yourself out, Violet." She smiles as she opens the door to her office. "It'll all work itself out."
I hoped so.

Once I got home, the bar, it was so busy I struggled to get through the crowed to the back door which led upstairs to an apartment above which Alex and I had made into our home. With the bar being open I assumed Alex was downstairs with Ashlyn, bartending. Ashlyn and her group had decided to stick around and help where they could. Giving me time to go to therapy.
I liked Ashlyn. Her no nonsense, down to earth attitude kept the ghouls away. No idiots came into Bar Twist without getting a good beating from Ashlyn, or her gang, if they tried anything. Everything was working out great. Everyone was happy. The bar was a success, Eddie had ditched his gambling habit and was seeing a girl from Ashlyn's gang. Only issue was my stupid brain.
You love me.
"Hardly."

But, like Dr Felton said it'll pass in time. The more I relax and the happier I become the less Robin will be around and hopefully soon will be gone. Leaving me and Daddy, completely, alone.
"Hi, Angel." Speaking of. Alex closed the door behind him and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Laying back on the couch with his feet up and crooking his finger wanting me to join him. Kicking off my shoes I smile, climbing beside him to rest my head on his chest. "How was therapy?"
"Good. I think we're making progress." I smell his shirt and melt beside him. Closing my eyes as he plays with my hair.
"That's great." He kisses my hair. "Anything I can do?"
I shake my head. He'd been perfect these last few weeks. Attentive but not stifling, loving and just there for me. "No, just keep loving me and everything will be perfect."
It was true. With him I was content and happy. Robin wasn't an issue when he was around.
"Okay, Angel."
"Thank you, Daddy." I smile against his chest. Despite everything, to me, this was perfection. To love and to be loved. That's all that matters.