The Devil's Lover

⚠15⚠

Memory is a tenuous thing. . . . flickering glimpses, blue and white, like ancient, 16mm film. Happiness escapes me there, where faces are vague and yesterday seems to come tied up in ribbons of pain. Happiness? I look for it intend in today, where memory is something I can still touch, still rely on. I find it in the smiles of new friends, the hope blossoming inside. My happiest memories have no place in the past; they are those I have yet to create,

i sat in the chair as this man with red hair and a beard stood looming over me as i felt anger boil and seep from my pores "what in the fuck" i said darkly, he narrowed his gaze at "aren't you happy to see me?" i stared blankly as i stood and moved to the back of the room as i rubbed my forehead "No i am NOT happy to see you!"

"why not?"

"IF you are not dead  like i was told  you were, then you Abandoned me!" i said angrily "i was dead, the warlocks Brought me back" i scoffed as i began to pace "so you used magic" he rolled his eyes  "don't fucking give me attitude about something you and mom Banned and bound to me when i was five!" i said as he folded his arms as he just sat there as i took my anger out on him "You guys said magic was bad, That i never will be able to use my magic and i will never see my relatives that use MAGIC " the lights in the flickered when i yelled as his face whitened his hazel hues Growing wide "what, Cat your tongue dad?"

"look im sorry for Leaving  you i know what you must of went -"

"Do NOT  finish that sentence!" i interrupted him angrily  now my hands shook i clenched my fist "you left me with a family WHO TREATED LIKE A DOG kicked me, a bused me and think just showing up out of the blue im supposed to love you as if that did not happen?!You were supposed Take care of me, Be there for me. Never discourage me,love meunconditionally. You're supposed to be my father. But you treated me like I'm nothing. I'm of sick crying that i lost my parents when The loss of love in your eyes when they gazed at me made me want to cry, It's itching inside of the back of my mind. And someday I'll say goodbye to you, You won't want me to, But you can't make me stay. until then You're not my dad and never will be" i said coldly as i felt the stinging feeling of burning tears that wanted to fall i would not allow them to because i will allow him to see the tears and pain he caused me. moving by this stranger he grabbed my upper arm "let me go!" i yelped out he shook his head as tears brimmed his eyes "w-why would you say such things!" he yelled i scoffed as i yanked away "YOU hurt me in ways like no one else before, cutting me deep- right down to the core. YOU beat me up without lifting a hand, reminding me exactly where I stand. YOU had the audacity  to boldly look me straight in the eyes and feed me so many Fucking lies"i retorted as my voice cracked "And you are seriously playing the fucking victim" i chuckled at the thought and shook my head "see ya around Ramon  " i said as i flung the door open before he re-grabbed my arm As he began to cry "LEAVE ME ALONE!" i scream as he stumbled back the force of my words making the room shift as the lights blew out sparking with electricity, i turned and stormed on my heart gunning in my chest as i just continued to move along the marble floor

Faye and faith grabbed my arm making me jump "are you okay" i shook my head as i let some tears fall down my cheeks i shook my head the hugged me in a tight group hug as i sniffled and left my cold tears run down my face, as we let go each other as i felt like a lifetime that we hugged Faye took a napkin and wiped off my running mascara "Want us to take you home?" I nodded as they Grabbed my hand and pulled me with them as i turned back catching of the kid i danced with.

A displeased had  decorated his face his arms were folded behind his back even though i did not know if he was displeased with me i gave him a small smile. Through the tears that had washed over my face.

he nodded before turning away i raised a brow but i did not Question it and carried on my Way we piled into the car as i sat silently in the back, as the music from the radio Filled the car i must of zoned out cause i could not  hear the music playing in the background

i heard faye say something i turned and saw faye diving into the back my eyes went wide as i saw a bus fly into our car i screamed but as the bus hit the car i went flying the door opened and i was sent skidding on to the hard cement hitting my head

i felt piercing pain all  over my body, i lifted my head to see fire and shattered metal  i slowly stood as i moved over as the world spun around me i gasped and choked on ash, as i tried to stand "faye..?" i choked out as i moved closer to the fire seeing the car "get away from there!" ignored the call of a nearby bystander as i Searched   with the best of my might when i felt arms grab round my waist "no! let me-" my vision blurred my body felt weak as i was carried away as the car blew up i screamed "NO NO LET ME GO I CAN BRING THEM BACK NO!!" i screamed as now tears flooded my face but my body was so weak and i hurt all over  as i was laid back i saw michael my vision blurred before completely going black.

great just my fucking luck.. if my  life was a story the title would read the fine art of bullshit, and the climax of that idiot..we were just having a good time

Then in the blink of an eye All our life is flashing Like the headlights we didn't see In a moment caught in a car crash All the radio plays Is the silence of our beating hearts..

when i came to misty Voices hung  in the air  the room was a bright white i as the voices came more clear i heard my aunt and Grandmother "grandma cordelia?" i asked my voice was raspy  and hoarse like i Swallowed a cheese grater "oh my poor bug" my grandma cupped my face and kissed my fore head "what happened? where's faye and faith?" Cordelia looked at my grandmother with a sombre look the same look a doctor gives when their about  to tell you a family member was dead. and your world comes crashing to the floor and you feel hopeless.

"their gone aren't they " i spoke before they had a chance to speak as i felt pained hot tears bubble in my eyes, "i could of saved them! but i was" i sighed looking down to my hands as i let my tears fall. i wish somehow that they still could speak or that the were not dead that i was lying to myself or the car crash did not happen but if that was the case i would not be lying in this damn Bed and i would be at home studying my herbs and potions,

but i think, maybe there is some validity in accepting  that  a part of me went with them and a part of them stayed ..

"one of the girls flipped the bus" cordelia said "who?" me and my grandmother said as i stared up at her "Madison and zoe was with her, zoe found you lying in the street" i slumped my shoulders, was i imaging michael?. or what happened there

when a nurse peaked into the room marking something on her clipboard "her prescription  for pain and next week her stitches in her side will be removed, so shes free to go home": she said handing my aunt my a white bag full of pills. after she left i moved and got dress in the bathroom i stood in front of the mirror gazing at my body not in admiration but with pathetic and stupidity. my face was bruised i had gashes and bruises all up my sides and hips. on my left side i had a s like Shaped wound with stitches i cringed and blinked away my tears as i slipped on the black outfit my Grandmother brought for me.

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