„I don't have to do anything.", I said determined. "Look, honey, I just want to give you the help you need. I care about you.", my mom said. "I don't want and don't need help, do you understand?" I sat down and looked on my phone. "You will go there, no contradiction!", my mom shouted at me. "I won't." My mom got outside and and slamed the door. I love my mother, really I do, but sometimes she is just overcaring. Like she wants me to go to a psychologist, only because I like spending my days alone in my room and reading books. She calls this behavior "superficial depression". I don't have any kind of depression, I just like being in my own world. I'm not saying the real world sucks, but there are so many fucked up people out there. I had a best friend. Her name was Abbie. But for fucks sake, she just used me and now like the whole school knows my secrets. Since then I really got trust issues. Not just that, I have issues just talk to people. Being alone is okay I'd say, I mean nobody can hurt you and you can do whatever you like. Being depressed is something else. You hate yourself, you hate the world, you don't eat, you selfharm, you just want to die. And I can say, with full conviction, that I don't have any of these problems. My mom is afraid, that I want to kill myself, but I don't want to. All I want is just to live a life I like. I know my behavior may sound strange to you, but that's just who I'm or at least think who I'm.
That one day a girl from my class called me. It was strange for me to get a call from someone else then my mom. I picked the call up and she suddenly started talking: "Hey Jess, I'm having a big party, no the biggest party ever, on Saturday and I wanted to invite you. It would be amazing if you would come. You know where my house is, so yeah, see you then... or not, we'll see, bye." She spoke so fast and before I could even say something she hung up. I don't like parties at all. Just drunk teenagers making out. I think it's so disgusting. But otherwise... I haven't been on a party for 2, maybe even 3 years, I could just come and if I don't like it, I can go whenever I want. At dinner it was so quiet. My mom and me just ate without saying a word or even looking at each other. I felt so bad about this. So I said something to just break this awful silence. "Mom...I'm sorry for yesterday...I just don't think a psychologist would be the right thing like I'm not depressed. You need to understand that." She just nodded. "Mom?", I asked. "Yeah, I understand. It's just not normal that a 17 year old teenage doesn't like to hang out with friends and go to Parties and stuff. You're acting so weird since 5 months. Do you know that you were different before?", she finally said. I was just looking at my plate and mumbled: "People change" She looked like she was about to yell at me, but she just took a long breath and calmly said: "Any plans for the weekend? I guess staying at home all day and reading." I stood up. "Nope. There's a party at Ciaras on Saturday and I guess I'll go there." My mom opened her mouth and looked really shocked. "What? You and party? Oh my god that's fantastic!" She stood up and hugged me. This made me feel a little bit uncomfortable. What if I decide to not go in the last moment? Will she be disappointed?
YOU ARE READING
breakout
AcakThis Story is about Jess, a girl in the age of 17, that lives in her own world. She rarely goes out or talks to people. Her mother is really worried about her and thinks she's depressed, but Jess is convinced, that she's not. One day she meets a boy...
