Darker: Sequel to Harder To Breathe

Back At It

*Adam's pov

(two weeks later)

"Good morning Bella" I said coming downstairs happier than I've been in a while. "Morning Adam" she said handing me a mug of coffee. "Morning Molly bear" I said. "Morning daddy" she said with a smile. "Guess what?" I said. "What daddy?" Molly asked cheerfully. "I finished writing the last song for the new album" I said. "Yay!" she said. "Can I go to work with you?" she asked. I laughed, "sure go get dressed" I said and she ran upstairs. "Wow that was fast" Bella said. "Yea I've uh been inspired" I said, "well that and the lack of sleep has been good for my writing" I said shrugging. "It's good to see you back to your old self" she smiled. "Yea, Molly helped, she sort of kick my ass in gear, along with you and Jesse" I shrugged. "What really happened?" She asked me. "Molly heard us talking after the wake. She asked me if I was going to find her a new mommy" I said. "What did you tell her?" "I told her I would try because that's what mommy wanted but it would be hard because I don't think I'll love anyone like I love mommy" I told her sipping my coffee. "I need to start keeping my promises. And I am one step at a time. I'm back in the studio and the fans have been blowing up every social media site with this come back. I never thought this would happen." I said. "That's the man I've known for the past 4 years, the one that never really gave up" she smiled. "I'm ready!" molly yelled running in. "Let's go!" I said and picked her up.

"I'll have dinner waiting" Bella said and I could feel her eyes on my back. Molly skipped to the car and I smiled and helped her in. "Are you going to sing today?" She asked happily dancing to the pop tune on the radio. "Yes will you help me?" I asked glancing in the rear view. "Of course daddy!" She giggled and we sang random words to a song we didn't know. I parked at the studio and Molly unbuckled quickly and ran around to my side. "Come on!" She said and ran through the door and stopped looking around. I laughed and picked her up running to our room and spun her around. "Well there's the Adam we know and love!" Mickey said seeing me. "Molly baby!" Jesse said charging her and tickling her. Her giggle put us all in fits of laughter. "Sing daddy" she managed when Jesse stopped. I bit my lip, no ones heard me sing, I mean really sing, since our last show 5 years ago. The guys stopped joking around and got serious. "Daddy?" She asked. "Wanna come in the booth with me?" I asked. She nodded and I could feel the guys staring as I put the headphones on in the booth and the music was cued up. I took a deep breath and sang the words I wrote not too long ago.

"I miss the taste of the sweet life. I miss the conversation. I'm searching for a song tonight, I'm changing all of the stations" I sang like I was 23 and belting out songs hoping Jane could hear me, only now it was a different girl and I knew she'd never hear me again. "I like to think that we had it all. We drew a map to a better place, but on that road I took a fall, oh baby why did you run away" I remembered how the words washed over me when they told she was gone. She ran from this life and I hated that she didn't fight, for Molly. For me. "I was there for you in your darkest time, I was there for you in your darkest night, but I wonder where we're you when I was at my worst down on my knees and you said you had my back, so I wonder where we're you if all the roads you took came back to me! So I'm following the map that leads to you." I was holding back tears at this point. I won't make it through the song I thought. "The map that leads to you ain't nothing I can do, the map that leads to you following following following to you. The map that leads to you, ain't nothing I can do, the map that leads to you following following following." I could feel the guys staring, Jesse knew this song as well as I did, he knows how every line was written and how hard it was to write this first song. I looked over and saw him nod and a small encouraging smile was thrown my way. "I hear your voice when I sleep at night, hard to resist temptation. Somethin' strange has come over me, and I can't get over you, no I just can't get over you. I was there for you in your darkest time, I was there for you in your darkest night, but I wonder where were you when I was at my worst down on my knees and you said you had my back, so I wonder where we're you if all the roads you took came back to me! So I'm following the map that leads to you. The map that leads to you ain't nothing I can do, the map that leads to you following following following to you. The map that leads to you ain't nothing I can do, the map that leads to you following following following."

I finished with the bridge and chorus as the music faded out. I pulled off the headphones and we walked out when the light was off. They had recorded me the first time I sang. It scared me to hear the play back, I can only imagine how bad it was. "So..." I said when no one spoke. "Holy... " "Cow" Matt said interrupting James. "That was amazing!" James said beaming. "My new favorite song" Matt offered up. "That is a great way to start off" Mickey said smiling. "Where have you been hiding?" Sam smiled. PJ laughed, "best cd ever I can feel it." "Good job man" Jesse said his hand on my shoulder. I smiled a little and looked down, "thanks" I said and looked at Molly. "Wow! How come you don't sing like that at home?" She asked. "I haven't sang like that in a long time sweetheart. And I never thought I would again" I admitted. "Why?" She asked. "Because I stopped singing for work a long time ago because I got sick" I told her. "Like mommy?" "Sort of" I said nodding. "Ohh why did you start again then?" "Because mommy asked me too when she got sick and I promised I would" I said. "Good, I like when you sing like on the CDs better than when you're in the car" she giggled.

"Hey boys" we turned to see Ali standing in the doorway with coffee. She was a lifesaver sometimes. I smiled, "hey Ali" I said and took my black double shot iced coffee. "Hey Levine, how are you?" She asked biting her lip. "Better" I said and kissed her cheek. "Auntie Ali!" Molly yelled. "Woah watch out for the coffee" she said and balanced it. "Hi sweetie" she said kissing the top of her head while the guys took their coffees. "Did you know daddy is singing again?" She asked happily. Ali looked at me and smiled, "I didn't but I'm happy he is. I've missed hearing him sing" she said and hugged me. "Hey wanna get something from the vending machine?" Ali asked her. "Ali" I said eyeing her. "What she's my goddaughter I can do whatever I want" Molly ran out of the room. "That and the tension in here is crazy thick handle that" she said and followed her. "Those were some interesting lyrics. Where'd they come from?" Mickey asked. "Jaz" I said and sat on the couch. "The song is about Jaz and how bad it sucked when she died. I felt like she was running away from Molly and me by giving up. Like we weren't worth living for anymore. I was in a really dark place when I wrote that" I said. "It doesn't need to be on the cd. Not if this one will be too hard it can be just for you" James said. I shook my head, "I think it's the best song I have it has to, no one needs to know how I wrote it and that it's about Jaz and me. I can make shit up about it being like I felt lost as a kid and now I feel lost raising Molly or something I don't know" I shrugged.

"We're not forcing you Adam. This is hard on all of us, we've all been together for a long time, Jaz has been with us forever. We understand." Matt said. I shook my head, "I appreciate the thought guys but honestly none if you understand and I hate that I can't explain it, but I don't want your pity. I need your support, this is gonna suck for a long time and I'm gonna hate every minute of getting back out there and I need you guys to kick my ass in gear, at least for a while" I said looking at all of them in turn. They nodded, "well then get your ass in gear and let's get music for these other songs!" Sam said bumping me. I smiled, leave it to the guys to get it and go, no hesitation just support, which is exactly what I need. We worked a while longer before stopping for a quick lunch and then worked until late. Molly was falling asleep on the couch and I looked at the clock, 7:30. "Alright I think that's good today. Didn't realize how late it was" I said. "Late? It's 7:30" James said. I chuckled, "yea that's late when you have a kid that needs to eat." They packed up and left and it was just Molly, Jesse and me. "Jaz would be impressed man. Nice job" he said. I smiled as I carried Molly to the car. "Thanks" I said. "Any work on that other promise?" He asked. I looked at him, "not really" I said and buckled her in. "Not really?" He asked. "Well I've thought about it" I admitted. "And?" "And I think it would be wrong and she would say no so no point in asking and ruining everything" I shrugged. "Who is it?" "Bella" I mumbled as I shut the door. "Ohh well, it can't hurt to try right. I mean that's how it happened with Jaz, you had to put yourself out there" he said. I nodded and got in the car, maybe he was right.