Am I Bad Enough For You

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°Jack°

"Alex Gaskarth is tutoring you?" Mike asks, laughing away and gasping for air along with the rest of my friends. "Yeah, Yeah, get a good laugh before I kill you." I threaten. I wasn't really upset with Alex tutoring me. Embarrassed, yes, but not upset. I've been wanting to ask him why he got sick yesterday and this is my chance. I felt pity for him. I knew that he was truly sorry for beating up Jesse, but he couldn't apologize for it. That would do nothing and Alex knew that.

"Are you really that dumb?" Jamie asked with a giggle. I glared at her and she threw her arms up in surrender. Maybe I wasn't the best student but I'm not the worst, I'm just having some trouble.

"Hey, where's kellic at?" I asked out of half concern and half if wanting to change the subject. 'Kellic' was our name for Kellin and Vic, even though they hated it.

"Probably fucking somewhere." Justin said and we all laughed. That's probably true. Kellin and Vic are an...adventurous couple. Lets just say I will never look at carrots again. "Your one to talk." I heard Jaime mumble.

"Hey! Shut up!" He yelled and by then I was in stitches, laughing my ass off. The rest of lunch was filled with jokes about all the couple's sex lives, me thankfully not being one of them. I think I'm scarred for life.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"So, where to you want to meet?' I ask Alex as we walked out of school. I think I was the only person who he didn't hate completely. "Your house?" he asked and I nodded. I understand why he wouldn't want to go to his, not that I would care but he's probably embarrassed. It's not like he asked for this life.

We were walking to my car in awkward silence. I hadn't asked why he threw up yesterday and It was begging to escape my tongue. I shouldn't have been so worried about it but I was. He could have easily not felt good, but just as easy it could have been on purpose.

We got into my car, him in the passenger seat, and I started the car. When I turned it on 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' started blasting through the speakers on full blast. I turned it down and immediately apologized.

"No, it's fine. I love Nirvana." he said and I smelled evily. So he's been to the dark side. I wonder what other bands he likes, so I asked.

"I like Blink-182, Metallica, Guns n' Roses, Rolling Stones, Green Day, Led Zepplin, Pink Floyd, Van Halen, ACDC, New Found Glory, A Day To Remeber, Yellow Card and that's all I can think of." he said and I smirked. He likes all the same stuff I do.

"That's awesome, so do it!" I said over-excited, making him laugh. I loved his laugh, it made his voice sound so-no. Not gay. Fuck her right in the pussy. Fuck her right in the pussy. Fuck her right in the pussy. We spent the rest of the ride talking about bands and songs. I remember one time I saw A Day To Remember live and it was sick. We arrived at my house a few minutes later, him being greeted by my mom.

"Hey Jack, how was school? Oh, who is this? Is it a new friend? I'm glad your hanging out with someone else than Rian and Zach. Hi sweetie I'm Jack's mom, Joyce." she said excitedly, talking faster than lightning.

"Hello, miss." he said. Before anyone else could say anything I grabbed Alex's arm and dragged him upstairs. Wehn we got in my room he sighed in relief, I guess. I didn't understand why, all I did was grab his arm. Does he...no, no way. I think he understood my facial expression and his face turned into fear.

"Alex, do-do you...?" I trailed off, not really wanting to finish. I really hope he didn't, I guess I cared for Alex. In a friend way of course, yeah. He's expression turned confused and then his mouth formed an 'o'.

"No, no I d-don't do that." he reassured me but I still didn't believe him. Because you know, stuttering reassures me 100 percent.Lets call it instincts. I glanced at his arms and told him to pull up his sleeves then. "I can't do that, but not for the reason that y-you think."

"Alex, I know that we've had a lot of problems over this year but trust me, I'm not gonna' judge you. I promise." I tell him honestly and kneel next to the bed where he is. In all honesty, I don't think Alex is lying but I don't know him well enough. He takes a deep breath but nods, rolling up his sleeves.

My eyes go wide at all the hashes on his arms. He obviously didn't make them, they're way to uneven and deep for him to do it. And the cuts are only on the top of his forearms. It didn't look like they were cleaned, why wouldn't he clean them. More importantly who did this?

"Alex, who did this?" I asked in a worried tone, pointing at his arms. He shrugged like it was nothing and tolled down his sleeves. Is he fucking insane! "No one who can hurt me anymore." He tells me and opens up the textbook. I grab the book and throw it across my room, hitting my cat and she screeches at me.

"Alex! Are you crazy?" I ask, my arms flailing up everywhere. He rolls his eyes and rubs his temples.

"Listen, Jack, thank you for your concern but it's n-none of your business." he tells me, his fingers still rubbing circles on his head. I know that he didn't mean that in a rude way, but that didn't mean I still wasn't going to find out.

"Alex Gaskarth you tell me right now! And tell my why you threw up yesterday!" I yell, sounding like a mother using his full name.

"I didn't feel good and no." He sighs and lays down on my bed, pulling his hands behind his head. He actually looks really attractive like that, you can see his muscles and his jeans are just so tight-fuck her right in the pussy. Jack you are straight. He wasn't going to budge any time soon so I had to pull out the big guns.

"Tell me or I tell the whole school where you live." I scold and he sits up, a sad expression on his face. I know I shouldn't have held that against him, it wasn't his fault how he lives. Too late now.

"N-no, please don't. I-I'm sorry," why is he apologizing, "it's just personal. Please d-don't." Okay, now I felt bad. I shouldn't have said that to him. It probably makes him feel like shit, well, more like shit than he already does. I'm not sure if anyone really believed him When he said he was sorry, besides me of course.

"I'm sorry for saying that, you don't control how you live." I apologize, he nods and says it's okay. "But, Alex. I still want to know what this is." I tell him pointing at his covered arms. He looks at me for a second before he looks down at his wrist.

"Oh, look at the time. I got a get home, bye Jack." he says, although he has no watch on, grabbing his bag and leaving. "But wait we arent-ugh!" I yell when I hear the door slam.

I'm just gonna post this To get my mind off something.

My cousin said that there was a guy (who I met over the summer) and that he said I was obsessed with him....

I don't know if he's being egotistical or if it's true and I'm embarrassed.

And I'm pretty sure my cousins think I'm the most annoying little fuck ever.

I'm so fucking close to relapsing.