i've been in this god forsaken excuse of a place for a week now, following the exact same damn routine. going to group therapy sessions, going to one on one sessions, and spending most of my free time hanging out with remington. honestly he is not too bad, definitely growing on me, that's for sure. and that scares me- a lot.
i was on my way to meet him, actually, when everyones least favourite bitch by the name of savannah stopped me in the hallway on the way to the music room. she's a delusional little twat, fully under the impression she's dating remington. it's wild.
"ophelia hey!" savannah said annoyingly
i roll my eyes so far into the back of my head someone might have thought i was possessed. i turned around on my heels to face her, wanting to see what she wants from me.
"yes savannah? may i help you? i'm a little busy and on my way somewhere." i say, slightly annoyed at her stopping me when i was trying to meet up with remington.
"i see you have been hanging out with remington a lot."
"uh yes i have. not that it's any of your business or concern who i hang out with."
when i tell you she's absolutely bat shit, i mean it. she follows him around a lot, bothers him, tries to join us, and she literally thinks that she's with him sometimes. i'm surprised she's not got a voodoo doll of him or a shrine adorned with his plastic fork from last week's spaghetti dinner.
"well it is my concern! he is my boyfriend obviously, and i don't want you hanging out with him or stealing him from me. he is mine." she says getting into my face.
"first off, just because he said hello to you in the lunch hall once, which was because you wouldn't stop looking at us, doesn't make him your boyfriend. second off, he isn't your possession. third off, you cant control me nor tell me who i can and can't be friends with, you fucking bitch. so get the fuck out of my face before i force you out of it." i seethe, now irritated.
she freezes at my words and i use that as a chance to get around her and start the rest of my journey to find remington in the music room. i pick up my pace a bit more, now late to our planned time and knowing that he's likely very anxious about that fact.
after a few hallways and twists and turns, i make it to the music room, at which point i see remington sitting on the piano bench like always, looking like a lost puppy with nowhere to go, his sad eyes heavier than usual. he is aimlessly tapping away at the keys, looking like he is too lost in thought to have been using his skill in any way.
i push open the door quietly, so that i don't scare him, because he looks so lost in thought that a sudden loud noise could cause him to actually have a coronary. i slowly cross the room and sit next to him on the piano bench, then noticing he looks like he's been crying.
"hey rem, is everything okay? whats wrong?" i ask gently, my voice knowingly flooded with concern
"you're late and i just, i-i thought you weren't going to come." he says sadly
"i'm sorry, i got caught up on the way here." i explain, trying to cheer him up
"don't lie to me, ophelia" he mutters, clearly dejected
damn. that hurt. he didn't call me the usual ma chérie or chevy or some other stupid nickname he gives me off the top of his head. he's obviously upset with me.
"remington, im serious! i got caught up on the way here by that stupid bitch who thinks you guys are dating." i resist the urge to roll my eyes, annoyed that he thinks im lying to him over something like this.
"don't give me that half assed excuse. i bet you forgot about me. most people do anyway. i wouldn't be surprised"
"how dare you say that? i've spent every day for the past week since i've been in this damn place with you! are you forgetting that?" i immediately defend, my voice now raised, getting rather upset.
"well i don't fucking know! but now you're being ridiculous, yelling at me" he retorts with a distinct crack in his voice, causing me to register that he's likely about to break down in tears on me, not that it really matters to me in my current blinded-by-rage state, honestly causing me to let out a half hearted and dry chuckle. this is my impulsive and rude and uncontrollable side taking over, the side of my personality disorder known for getting ugly. the side i didn't want him to see even remotely this soon, but before it even really hits me that i'm slipping into a swing, i'm back to yelling at remington.
"i hate you, you insufferable son of a bitch! i absolutely fucking hate you" i let out, not thinking, not even genuinely realising i've said it. a pang of hurt obviously flashes through his eyes and i even see him flinch a bit, as if the words were a physical hit he just took to the chest, his eyes glossing over with tears that he quickly blinks back.
"oh, i'm the only one who's allowed to hate me ma chérie! i'm the sun king!" he says condescendingly, raising his voice, the pet name sounding more like an insult than an endearment now.
and that's all it takes. i turn my back to him and i walk to my room. i didn't want to see his face anymore. i was ready to push him out and start over yet again. this is the cycle i always go through. i start to fall for someone, we fight, and i push them away and i isolate myself for a week to get over it.
before making it all the way to my room, i stop into my therapist's office and let him know i'll be taking dinner in my room tonight.
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YOU ARE READING
hospital beds:: remington leith au
Fanfic"i hate you, you insufferable son of a bitch! i absolutely fucking hate you" "oh, i'm the only one who's allowed to hate me! i'm the sun king!" [all lowercase intentional. mental health themes as well as vulgar language follow. read with care]