The cheering could be heard outside the venue. We did a quick band meeting before heading in and doing sound check. The crowd was huge, at least two thousand.
We had just got done with a group huddle, I decided to go back to the bus to quickly do the finishing touches on my makeup.
I sat in my bunk and looked into the mirror I had put up above my pillow. A quick touch up on my eye shadow and mascara and I was set.
In the mirror I could see Chris. I was surprised to see him standing there but didn't let it show.
"Chris, sup." I said as I adjusted my body to face the door.
He looked a bit nervous. "I was wondering if we could talk."
I nodded. "Sure, come on in. You can sit in Jin's bunk, I'm sure he wouldn't mind." He nodded and sat down. "So whatcha want to talk about."
His eyes were trained on my face. Prepared to see what reaction I would give because of his next sentence. "You're her aren't you."
I paused for a moment confused. "Her?"
"You're the one who broke Ricky's heart."
I gulped unaware that I had hurt Ricky that badly. "What? I.. Broke his heart?"
Chris nodded sadly. "He didn't leave his room for six months after you left. Even after he left he barely ate and rarely talked. Once we met him he was somewhat okay but he still didn't smile."
I looked down, feeling ashamed that I had hurt someone I love so badly.
"And then for the three year anniversary, Ricky waited in that field for hours, hoping that you would be there, and when we finally talked him into leaving he was an emotional mess." He glanced up at me and sighed. "I guess what I'm getting at is please don't do it again." He paused to look at me sadly. "I don't think he would survive next time." With that he stood up, patted my leg and walked out.
My head turned to stare after him, my mind racing. If he had waited in that field, it ment he still cared. And I had been enough of an ass to shrug it off like it was no big deal.
I dropped my head to my hands and sat there attempting to hold back tears until I felt the bed sink in next to me.
Slowly I peered up through my fingers to find a worried looking Jin. "Hey doll, we're on in ten. Are you okay?" I nodded but I could tell he didn't believe me. "Well come on then. We have a show to put on. Let's give these people what they came for."
The show was over, the guys happily bouncing around from the post show buzz, and I was sitting on my bunk still thinking about what Chris had said to me. My feelings varied from guilt to anger. I felt guilty that I had left him in such a horrible state and that I hadn't held to our three year promise but at the same time I was angry with him that he didn't move on. He deserved so much more then me sitting and unknowingly playing mind games.
I heard a knock on the wall next to the bunk and looked up surprised to see a strip of Ronny's face staring down at me, a thin piece of light showing into the dark sleeping area.
"Hey kid. I don't know what's gotten in to you but come out into the living room, the guys are having a horror marathon and none of us want to leave you sitting in here by yourself."
I nodded. "Alright. I'll be out in a moment."
He did one last quick look before turning around and walking out of the room, shutting the door behind him and leaving me to force myself into facing both Ricky and Chris.
Blindly I stood up and felt my way to a light switch. It took a moment for the lights to heat up, once they did I looked around for something comfortable to put on. I assumed that we would all be squeezing onto the couch or laying on top of each other on the floor and being stuck in skinny jeans didn't sound very appealing.
