Bits and Pieces of a Damaged But Not Broken Mind

Haze

Please feel free to share your personal interpretations
~

My heart hurts
For a girl I've never had
But hell that makes no difference.

I'm grieving
Trying to get over memories never made
They are vivid all the same.

I want her back
I crave a ghost of my mind
Though I've never once been spiritual.

Morning comes and morning goes
I go through the motions feeling like loss
The air is just fine to everyone else
And so stale to me.

Night after night
Drinking scotch
Absentmindedly pouring it
Into my mug
for coffee the next day.

Time means nothing
As everything becomes a blur.
Haze holds comfort, as sleep
mimics death.

Dancing with a bottle
Each time I fall it feeds me a pill
Bartending my every need and having a different mix for each occasion.

Chasing memories around
without a single touch down
Reeling in more drunks
A party made of this chain of drinks and drugs.

Sniffing artificial love
Shooting up desperation
It isn't a party with no dance
Yet the floor is empty all the same.

Everyone high on oblivion
Pain not far
from the forefront of the mind.

Climbing the paintings on the wall
Enhancing them with their blood
Oozing from faces and backs
As they claw at anything
that is constant.

This gathering has happened before,
So they cling to me
And I let them
Becoming slick
with the scent of cheap currency.
Eventually
becoming rich, and running a river
Without once moving.