Saving Noel

Benjamin

One minute Benjamin was trying to process the sparks igniting in the spaces where their bodies touched. The next Noel's lips were soft and warm against his, and he was seeing stars.

 She tasted like the finest coffee. An espresso shot with the perfect pull. Smooth, silky and complex against his tongue. He didn't know if he could ever be satisfied with something less than her perfection now. 

"Noel," he murmured, pulling away so he could look into her eyes. The intensity in those emerald depths washed his concerns away. He closed the distance between them, resuming the kiss with a fervor that made her gasp against his mouth.

Her hands separated from his, and they slid up his chest, over his shoulders and around his neck. Tingles went down his body as her fingers tangled in his hair. His hands, now free, found their way to her lower back, moving down until they cupped her backside. He lifted her out out of the chair and onto his lap.

The change in their position gave him all sorts of new access, but as she teased his tongue with hers, pausing to nip at his bottom lip, he fought through the haze of lust to remind himself he was a gentleman. She rolled her hips and pressed her generous curves against his chest, making it hard to understand why being a gentleman mattered.

"Benjamin," she whispered, her mouth free as he branded her neck with his kisses.

His scalp burned where her grip tightened in his hair, but it only spurred him on. He re-traced his path, deviating for a moment to drag his teeth across her earlobe. Noel sighed, letting her head drop back. He wrapped her hair around his fist until his hands were full and his fingers were pressed against the back of her head.

For one wild moment, he almost twisted the angle of their bodies so he could lay her across the table. Daylight and open windows be damned, but it was that very same rush of desire that stopped him. He wanted her. Wanted her more than any woman in his memory. Hell, he thought he might give up coffee for her.

But she deserved better. That's why he had to be a gentleman.

"Noel," he said, untangling their bodies slowly so as not to make her feel rejected. "This is too much. Too fast."

She licked her lips and stared at him through heavy lids. "Did I do something wrong? I'm-I'm not really experienced."

He could barely hear the last words, but the shame came through loud and clear. Hands that were so confident as they moved across his body now shook as she tucked a snarled piece of hair behind her ear.

"No, no," he insisted, cupping her face and kissing her forehead. "We were about to cross a line we'd both regret, and I don't want regrets between us. Only good things."

She sighed. "You're right. It's just..."

Benjamin waited for her to continue, but she wouldn't raise her eyes. He could feel her drawing inside of herself- just like before. And it made him ache.

"Just what?" he prompted.

"I don't know how to say this without you taking it the wrong way."

His stomach flipped over, but he kept the panic off his face. "I won't."

"I guess, maybe if I lead by saying you're one of the most handsome men I've ever seen-"

Benjamin snorted but it turned into a chuckle. "This isn't nearly as bad as I expected."

Finally, she raised her head, her eyes bright with mirth and unshed tears. "Benjamin, it's been a really long time since anyone has been as kind to me as you have been."

"You kissed me because I was nice to you?"

She delivered a sturdy punch to his shoulder. "No, you dork. That's the part I was scared you'd take the wrong way. I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you so bad it hurt."

Another punch to his shoulder sent a sharp pain down arm. "What the heck was that for?"

"You look like the proverbial cat that ate the canary. Stop being so smug."

She looked so damn cute, glaring at him, he wanted to pull her back into his lap and resume his exploration. Every time he thought he had this woman figured out, she showed another side. There was the quiet, shy woman who'd entered A Cuppa Cheer. The take charge, confident woman who delivered a baby on the floor of a coffee shop. The one who drank coffee and ate food with as much zest as he did. The woman who couldn't believe someone wanted nothing in exchange for simple kindness. 

And now, this feisty woman who hit like a heavy weight.

"Okay," he shouted, throwing his hands up. "All smugness is gone, but Noel, I'm not sure where the bad part of this is coming in."

"Because I can't afford to let people be nice to me. I have to keep moving, keep leaving, and it's a lot harder if a piece of you is here." She put her hand beneath her left breast.

"But that's how this is supposed to work, and I really think, if you stayed, it wouldn't just be a piece of my heart you'd have- it would be all of it."

The tears in her eyes spilled onto her cheeks, and she lunged forward, throwing her arms around his neck. He was frozen in shock, but only for a moment. Then he wound his arms around her slender frame and held her. Her grip on him didn't lesson, but as the seconds passed, the thudding of her heart against his slowed, until they beat together in a calm, soothing cadence.

"Better?" he asked.

Noel kissed his cheek as she returned to her chair. She'd schooled her features into something unreadable, something that made Benjamin's chest grow tight with foreboding. But he couldn't quite understand why. There was no single thing he could pinpoint. He just knew the eerie calm she exuded was too much too soon.

"Better," she replied, the word scarcely sounding in the world before the lights flickered back on. Christmas music blasted from the ceiling speakers, the worn out melodies welcome to even Benjamin's ears. And all the tension seeped from Noel.

"Hallelujah," he exclaimed, jumping up and rushing over to the espresso machine.

Coffee. That's what they both needed. And he could close the shop up early, take the hot, holiday drinks upstairs, and watch corny Christmas movies. Maybe engage in other activities- with restraint of course. His hands shook as he thought about kissing her again- this time she would taste like sweet peppermint and smooth chocolate. Maybe they would just watch Christmas movies. It would be safer.

"Are you making what I think you're making?" she asked, leaning over the counter to watch him work.

"Yep. And then we could go upstairs and watch movies?"

She grinned, bouncing like a child. "Christmas movies?"

"Only for you," he muttered, not feeling nearly as put out about being forced to watch the sappy things as he would typically feel. Seeing the sheer pleasure she took from the idea, he'd watch a million of them.

Benjamin turned back to the task of making the drinks. He'd been so snared by Noel's happiness that he almost missed the sound of the milk change, which would have resulted in scalded milk. He'd not overheated milk since his first days working in someone else's coffee shop.

"Here you go." He put a big dollop of homemade whipped cream on top of her latte and handed it to her. She took a long sip, eyes closed the entire time. "How is it?"

Noel sighed and opened her eyes slowly. Something strange flashed across her face. "It's perfect. Just perfect."